Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: breaking

Gal Gadot and Some Other Dude to Ruin ‘Ruin’
Breaking

Gal Gadot and Some Other Dude to Ruin ‘Ruin’

FinnMay 13, 2025May 13, 2025

Oh, joy! Another Gal Gadot movie! Because the world CLEARLY needs more of… that. πŸ™„ And this time, she’s gracing…

CBGB FESTIVAL 2025: We Dug Up Some Legends (Literally, Maybe)
Breaking

CBGB FESTIVAL 2025: We Dug Up Some Legends (Literally, Maybe)

Chord F. DiscordMay 13, 2025May 13, 2025

OMG! 😱 They’re resurrecting CBGB (again?) with the CBGB Festival, brought to you by the oh-so-punk corporate overlords at The…

OMG, Remember These ‘Singers’? (AKA The 2000s, A Dark Time for Music)
Breaking

OMG, Remember These ‘Singers’? (AKA The 2000s, A Dark Time for Music)

Chuck B. BallsyMay 13, 2025May 13, 2025

The 2000s? Oh honey, that was a *time*. A time of questionable fashion choices, even more questionable hairstyles, and music…

Ubisoft Toronto Accidentally Unlocks Its Doors, Celebrates 15 Years of… Something
Breaking

Ubisoft Toronto Accidentally Unlocks Its Doors, Celebrates 15 Years of… Something

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 12, 2025May 12, 2025

Ah, Ubisoft Toronto, bless their hearts. πŸ™„ They’re opening their doors for Doors Open Toronto to celebrate… wait for it……

Suzanne Vega’s Near-Death Experience (From Boredom, Probably) Almost Scuttled Festival
Breaking

Suzanne Vega’s Near-Death Experience (From Boredom, Probably) Almost Scuttled Festival

Chuck B. BallsyMay 12, 2025May 12, 2025

🚨BREAKING: Suzanne Vega, bless her heart, almost canceled Glastonbury ’89 because of a STALKER! Apparently, someone wasn’t a fan of…

Katy Perry *Finally* Acknowledges She Used to Sound Like a Dying Cat
Breaking

Katy Perry *Finally* Acknowledges She Used to Sound Like a Dying Cat

Chuck B. BallsyMay 12, 2025May 12, 2025

Alright, buckle up, buttercups 🌼, because we’re diving headfirst into the DRAMA 🎭 that is Katy Perry and her sudden…

Harley Flanagan and the missus yammer ’bout rabbit food and a movie nobody asked for πŸ₯•πŸŽ¬πŸ™„
Breaking

Harley Flanagan and the missus yammer ’bout rabbit food and a movie nobody asked for πŸ₯•πŸŽ¬πŸ™„

Chord F. DiscordMay 12, 2025May 12, 2025

Oh, sweet lord, another washed-up hardcore dude trying to stay relevant. πŸ™„ Harley Flanagan, the human embodiment of a mid-life…

“Friendship”: A Cinematic Masterpiece (of Mediocrity) That Will Make You Question All Your Life Choices (Especially Watching This)
Breaking

“Friendship”: A Cinematic Masterpiece (of Mediocrity) That Will Make You Question All Your Life Choices (Especially Watching This)

FinnMay 12, 2025May 12, 2025

Okay, folks, buckle up, because β€˜Friendship’ is getting a WHOPPING 8.5 out of 10 stars! 🌟 Yeah, you heard that…

Lemmy’s Ghost Haunts Stoke-on-Trent: Bronze Abomination Erected
Breaking

Lemmy’s Ghost Haunts Stoke-on-Trent: Bronze Abomination Erected

Chord F. DiscordMay 12, 2025May 12, 2025

On Friday, May 9, 2025, Lemmy Kilmister, the dude who made a career out of singing about speed and playing…

Gene Simmons Swears KISS Won’t Tour Again (Unless the Price is Right, LOL)
Breaking

Gene Simmons Swears KISS Won’t Tour Again (Unless the Price is Right, LOL)

Chord F. DiscordMay 12, 2025May 12, 2025

In a recent chat with some dude named Kyle Meredith (who?), Gene Simmons, the self-proclaimed God of Thunder (more like…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 263 264 265 … 278 Next

Latest posts

  • China’s Secret Agent Apparently Didn’t Get The Memo
  • Southern Georgia Block Party Apparently Not That Fun This Year
  • Spin of the Day: The puzzle features nine pears for players to solve. β€” 86% Journalism Not Found
  • Bombers Leave UK Base Suddenly Remembering They Have Homes
  • Alice Cooper Still Trying To Validate 78 Years Of Existence

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright Β© 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.