Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: breaking

DAVID ELLEFSON Thinks Bands Should Talk About Money (Like He Did) So They Don’t, You Know, EXPLODE LATER
Breaking

DAVID ELLEFSON Thinks Bands Should Talk About Money (Like He Did) So They Don’t, You Know, EXPLODE LATER

Chord F. DiscordMay 14, 2025May 14, 2025

So, apparently, Dave Ellefson, the guy who got booted from Megadeth faster than you can say “leaked nudes,” and Burton…

Oh Noes! Square Enix Accidentally Deletes a Kingdom Hearts Game (But Don’t Worry, the REAL One is Still Churning in the Development Abyss)
Breaking

Oh Noes! Square Enix Accidentally Deletes a Kingdom Hearts Game (But Don’t Worry, the REAL One is Still Churning in the Development Abyss)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 14, 2025May 14, 2025

Oh, the humanity! 😭 Square Enix, in their infinite wisdom (or lack thereof), has decided to DELETE 🗑️ another game…

Scott Ian’s Jackson Guitar: Now in a Color That Might Actually Hide the Dents
Breaking

Scott Ian’s Jackson Guitar: Now in a Color That Might Actually Hide the Dents

Chord F. DiscordMay 14, 2025May 14, 2025

Oh look, another guitar! 🙄 Apparently, Jackson, bless their corporate hearts, decided that what the world REALLY needed was ANOTHER…

Jessica Jones is BACK in Daredevil: Born Again Season 2, Just What We Needed
Breaking

Jessica Jones is BACK in Daredevil: Born Again Season 2, Just What We Needed

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 14, 2025May 14, 2025

OMG! 😱 It’s happening! Krysten Ritter, AKA Jessica Jones, AKA the only reason anyone watched those gritty Netflix Marvel shows,…

Oh Great, More Duviri: Warframe Players Forced Back Into That Weirdo Wonderland Again, Apparently
Breaking

Oh Great, More Duviri: Warframe Players Forced Back Into That Weirdo Wonderland Again, Apparently

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 14, 2025May 14, 2025

OMG, Digital Extremes just dropped the mic…or maybe a poorly optimized update, who knows? 🤷‍♀️ At PAX East, they unveiled…

“OC Punk: A Riveting Tale of Suburban Rebellion (or Just a Bunch of Bored Kids with Guitars)”
Breaking

“OC Punk: A Riveting Tale of Suburban Rebellion (or Just a Bunch of Bored Kids with Guitars)”

Chord F. DiscordMay 14, 2025May 14, 2025

OMG! 😱 Finally, a book about Orange County punk? 🙄 Like we haven’t heard enough about suburban angst and three-chord…

FBC: Janitor Simulator 2023 – Now with More Mold! (Ahti’s Still Not Impressed)
Breaking

FBC: Janitor Simulator 2023 – Now with More Mold! (Ahti’s Still Not Impressed)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 14, 2025May 14, 2025

Oh, look, another “AAA” studio trying to milk a beloved IP for all it’s worth! 🙄 Remedy Entertainment, bless their…

Oh GREAT, Steve Perry and Willie Nelson Ruin a Perfectly Good Journey Song, Just What the World Needed
Breaking

Oh GREAT, Steve Perry and Willie Nelson Ruin a Perfectly Good Journey Song, Just What the World Needed

Chord F. DiscordMay 14, 2025May 14, 2025

🚨🚨BREAKING: Steve Perry, formerly known as the voice of JOURNEY (but let’s be real, the *only* reason anyone listened), has…

Marvel’s 1943: Rise of Hydra Gets Pushed Back to 2026, Apparently “Best Possible Experience” Requires Time Travel
Breaking

Marvel’s 1943: Rise of Hydra Gets Pushed Back to 2026, Apparently “Best Possible Experience” Requires Time Travel

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 13, 2025May 13, 2025

Oh, great, another video game delay! 🙄 Skydance New Media, the folks who brought you… well, nothing much yet, have…

Microsoft Gently Prunes a Few Unnecessary Weeds, Definitely Not a Bloodbath
Breaking

Microsoft Gently Prunes a Few Unnecessary Weeds, Definitely Not a Bloodbath

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 13, 2025May 13, 2025

Breaking News! Microsoft, the company that brought you Clippy (RIP, you annoying paperclip 📎), is at it again! Seems like…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 262 263 264 … 278 Next

Latest posts

  • China’s Secret Agent Apparently Didn’t Get The Memo
  • Southern Georgia Block Party Apparently Not That Fun This Year
  • Spin of the Day: The puzzle features nine pears for players to solve. — 86% Journalism Not Found
  • Bombers Leave UK Base Suddenly Remembering They Have Homes
  • Alice Cooper Still Trying To Validate 78 Years Of Existence

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.