Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: breaking

STONE SOUR guitarist JOSH RAND’s THE L.I.F.E. PROJECT promises you a full-length album… right after the heat death of the universe in 2026
Breaking, Music News

STONE SOUR guitarist JOSH RAND’s THE L.I.F.E. PROJECT promises you a full-length album… right after the heat death of the universe in 2026

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 21, 2026January 21, 2026

In the thunderous, eternal battle against the ever-looming threat of having actual release dates, THE L.I.F.E. PROJECT has emerged victorious…

Hold onto your butts, Far Cry fans because Ubisoft is finally doing the one thing you’ve been begging for: not releasing a new game and instead just turning up the frame rate on the old ones
Breaking, Games News

Hold onto your butts, Far Cry fans because Ubisoft is finally doing the one thing you’ve been begging for: not releasing a new game and instead just turning up the frame rate on the old ones

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 21, 2026January 21, 2026

🎉 Praise be, the Ubisoft overlords have finally stopped sacrificing our framerates to the dark gods of unoptimized code! 🎉…

Enshrouded Teases 1.0 Release Window and Roadmap, Gamers Finally Allowed to Leave the Shroud
Breaking, Games News

Enshrouded Teases 1.0 Release Window and Roadmap, Gamers Finally Allowed to Leave the Shroud

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 21, 2026January 21, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: Enshrouded Developers Finally Reveal That ‘Autumn 2026’ Is Actually Code for ‘Please Stop Asking Us For A Release…

The Nominees For the Worst Movie of the Year Are Here and honestly who cares
Breaking, Movie News

The Nominees For the Worst Movie of the Year Are Here and honestly who cares

FinnJanuary 21, 2026January 21, 2026

🚨 THE RAZZIE NOMINEES ARE HERE! 🚨 Cinephiles, grab your barf bags and prepare for a cinematic journey so terrible,…

The OG Slipknot Vocalist Anders Colsefni Is Going To Iowa To Scream About Eating Flesh And Murdering People For Fun, Apparently
Breaking, Music News

The OG Slipknot Vocalist Anders Colsefni Is Going To Iowa To Scream About Eating Flesh And Murdering People For Fun, Apparently

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 21, 2026January 21, 2026

🎉 BREAKING NEWS: The Ghost of Slipknot Past is Back, and He’s Brought a Crowzade! 🎉 Let the 666 Days…

The Fast and the Flurious: Get Ready to Debunk Physics and Your Lunch at Universal Florida
Breaking, Movie News

The Fast and the Flurious: Get Ready to Debunk Physics and Your Lunch at Universal Florida

FinnJanuary 20, 2026January 20, 2026

Universal Orlando has finally decided to listen to the screams of a generation and replace the ear-bleeding auditory nightmare of…

Life Is Strange: Reunion Uninstalls Your Trauma This March But Only The Pixelated Kind
Breaking, Games News

Life Is Strange: Reunion Uninstalls Your Trauma This March But Only The Pixelated Kind

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 20, 2026January 20, 2026

Alright, strap in, Bae-over-Bay truthers and timeline-deniers, because Square Enix just hit the rewind button on our wallets and our…

City Of La Vergne Officially Dedicates A Day To Megadeth Because Everyone Knows Rust In Peace Is The Only True Form Of Government
Breaking, Music News

City Of La Vergne Officially Dedicates A Day To Megadeth Because Everyone Knows Rust In Peace Is The Only True Form Of Government

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 20, 2026January 20, 2026

🚨BREAKING: The City of La Vergne, Tennessee has officially declared January 17, 2026, as “Megadeth Day,” because nothing screams “thrash…

Netflix Declares Every Film Must Include a 10-Minute PowerPoint Presentation So You Can Keep Scrolling TikTok Without Missing Anything
Breaking, Movie News

Netflix Declares Every Film Must Include a 10-Minute PowerPoint Presentation So You Can Keep Scrolling TikTok Without Missing Anything

FinnJanuary 20, 2026January 20, 2026

Oh, sweet merciful streaming gods, gather ’round the digital altar of content consumption, because apparently, our collective attention spans have…

CD Projekt Red Hates Fun, Ruins Cyberpunk 2077 VR Mod With DMCA Strike
Breaking, Games News

CD Projekt Red Hates Fun, Ruins Cyberpunk 2077 VR Mod With DMCA Strike

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 20, 2026January 20, 2026

Well, well, well, looks like the corporate suits at CD Projekt Red have finally decided to unleash the legal dogs…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 59 60 61 … 195 Next

Latest posts

  • Wow Because Yelling at Kids to Stop Shutting Down Totally Works IDirect Ways to Deal with Your Mini Human Who Refuses to Function
  • Alan Ritchson tries not to trip on his own ego in the new poster for Motor City
  • Day of the Devs 2026: Because You Clearly Haven’t Spent Enough Money on Video Games Already and Now We’re Gonna Take the Rest of It
  • SGF 2026: Final Fantasy VII Revelation Finally Wraps Up The Remake Trilogy After A Decade Of Teasing And Milking The Franchise For Every Penny Next Spring
  • Liberal US student goes missing in Japan, big whoop, whatever happens

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}