The wait is over, and the anticipation has been palpable. The first full trailer for Avengers: Doomsday has finally dropped, and fans are eating it up like the good little consumers they are. The trailer gives us a glimpse into the highly secretive plot, featuring the return of some old favorites, including Thor and Captain America (the Chris Evans one, because we all know there can only be one true Cap). We also get to see the X-Men, including Rebecca Romijn as Mystique, transforming into Yelena Belova, because why not? And, of course, James Marsden’s fan-favorite return as Cyclops, because who doesn’t love a good cyclops?
The trailer also gives us a sneak peek at Robert Downey Jr.’s distinctive Doctor Doom voice, which is sure to send shivers down the spines of fans everywhere. It’s all very exciting, and also very mysterious, as the Fantastic Four, the Wakandans, the OG Avengers, and the New Avengers appear to converge, putting their differences (and different universes) aside to team up against some larger, post-Thanos threat. Because, you know, the Marvel universe wasn’t already complicated enough.
The Hype is Real
Naturally, fans are hyped for the first Avengers movie in seven years. On social media, some who watched the trailer were particularly stoked about the OG X-Men’s return, while one user hyped up a fight between Shang-Chi and Gambit briefly seen in the clip. Because what’s a superhero movie without a good fight scene, am I right? Some were less enthusiastic about the upcoming superhero flick, criticizing the film’s CGI visuals, vague plot details, and seemingly familiar beats. But let’s be real, it’s not like that’s going to stop anyone from seeing it. As one user perfectly summed it up, “the thing about Doomsday is that I can be as big of a hater as I want but it will all be for nothing because I will be there opening weekend.”
Speaking of which, Avengers: Doomsday is scheduled to open in theaters on December 18. Because what’s a holiday season without a big-budget superhero movie to cram into the already-packed theaters? And, of course, the merchandising opportunities are endless. I mean, who wouldn’t want to buy a bunch of overpriced toys and clothing featuring their favorite Avengers characters? It’s not like the studios are just churning out the same old tired franchises to make a quick buck or anything.
Familiar Territory
The trailer also raises some questions about the plot, which seems to be following a familiar formula. I mean, how many times can we watch a group of heroes team up to fight a bigger, badder villain before it gets old? But hey, it’s not like the studios are afraid to reuse and recycle old ideas. After all, as the saying goes, “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” And what’s more broken than the current state of the Marvel universe? It’s like they’re trying to see how many different characters they can cram into one movie before it becomes a mess. But hey, at least it’ll be a fun mess, right?
As one user tweeted, “why are 80% of yall even fighting? Are we showing them doing the thing where they meet up and think each other is the enemy initially or something.” Yeah, because that’s not a tired trope at all. But hey, at least it’s a familiar one. And who knows, maybe this time it’ll be different. Maybe this time the heroes will actually get along and work together without any misunderstandings or trust issues. Ha! Who am I kidding? This is a superhero movie we’re talking about.
Regardless of the criticisms, one thing is for sure: Avengers: Doomsday is going to make a lot of money. And that’s all that really matters, right? I mean, who needs originality or creativity when you can just churn out the same old formula and watch the cash roll in? It’s not like the studios are in it for the art or anything. It’s all about the benjamins, baby. And if that means sacrificing a little bit of quality and originality along the way, so be it. After all, as the great philosopher once said, “a buck is a buck, no matter how you make it.”
So, there you have it. Avengers: Doomsday is coming, and it’s going to be a wild ride. Whether you’re a fan of the franchise or not, you can’t deny the excitement and hype surrounding this movie. And who knows, maybe it’ll actually be good. But let’s not get our hopes up or anything. After all, as the saying goes, “expectations are the root of all disappointment.” So, let’s just go into this with an open mind and a healthy dose of skepticism. And if all else fails, we can always just enjoy the mindless action and explosions. Because, at the end of the day, that’s what superhero movies are all about, right?
And so, the Content Mines remain fully operational, churning out blockbuster after blockbuster, each one more formulaic and predictable than the last. But hey, at least they’re consistent, right? Somewhere, a Focus Group is earning another bonus, and the Marketing Department is declaring history to be “made” once again. Because, in the end, that’s all that really matters: the bottom line. And if that means sacrificing a little bit of creativity and originality along the way, so be it. It’s all just part of the never-ending cycle of blockbuster franchise filmmaking. Sigh.
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
