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Tag: breaking

BREAKING: DC goes full Wild West, National Guard joins the shootout – who needs Tombstone
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

BREAKING: DC goes full Wild West, National Guard joins the shootout – who needs Tombstone

Big ElephantNovember 26, 2025November 26, 2025

Another day, another Democrat-inspired crime! Two brave National Guardsmen, sent to D.C. to clean up the leftist mess, were shot.…

The GEMS Declare ‘Year Of The Snake’ – Prepare for Hiss-terical Melodies
Breaking, Music News

The GEMS Declare ‘Year Of The Snake’ – Prepare for Hiss-terical Melodies

Chord F. DiscordNovember 26, 2025November 26, 2025

THE GEMS, the Swedish “hard rock” band featuring former THUNDERMOTHER (more like THUNDER-BORING, amirite?) members Guernica Mancini (vocals – allegedly),…

FX Dumps Another Bag of Cash on Ubisoft for a Far Cry TV Show Starring Some Dudes You’ve Heard Of
Breaking, Games News, Movie News

FX Dumps Another Bag of Cash on Ubisoft for a Far Cry TV Show Starring Some Dudes You’ve Heard Of

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 25, 2025November 25, 2025

OMG! FX is making a *Far Cry* TV show! 🤣 Prepare for cringey monologues and villains who think they’re deep…

Prince of Persia: Sands of Time Remake Still Kicking? Leaks Say Yes (LOL)
Breaking, Games News

Prince of Persia: Sands of Time Remake Still Kicking? Leaks Say Yes (LOL)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 25, 2025November 25, 2025

Well, well, well, look what we have here! Another Ubisoft leak! 🤣 Seems like someone over there can’t keep their…

Report: Xbox Might Make You Sell a Kidney Due to Recent RAM Shenanigans
Breaking, Games News

Report: Xbox Might Make You Sell a Kidney Due to Recent RAM Shenanigans

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 24, 2025November 24, 2025

Oh noes! 😭 Looks like Microsoft and Xbox dun goofed again! Reports are circulating faster than my uncle’s conspiracy theories…

Assassin’s Creed Shadows and Attack on Titan Had a Baby and It’s a Free Quest, OMG
Breaking, Games News

Assassin’s Creed Shadows and Attack on Titan Had a Baby and It’s a Free Quest, OMG

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 24, 2025November 24, 2025

Oh, honey, hold my sake! 🍶 Ubisoft, bless their little corporate hearts, is at it again, unleashing what they’re calling…

Sex Pistols (feat geriatric Frank Carter) Announce ’50 Years Of Punk (lol)’ Celebration Shows For Summer 2026 (if they’re still alive)
Breaking, Music News

Sex Pistols (feat geriatric Frank Carter) Announce ’50 Years Of Punk (lol)’ Celebration Shows For Summer 2026 (if they’re still alive)

Chord F. DiscordNovember 24, 2025November 24, 2025

🚨 Breaking News! 🚨 The SEX PISTOLS, now featuring the punk rock god Frank Carter (because, let’s face it, someone…

‘Spider-Man: Brand New Day’s Secret Villain Finally REVEALED (You Won’t BELIEVE Who It Is)
Breaking, Movie News

‘Spider-Man: Brand New Day’s Secret Villain Finally REVEALED (You Won’t BELIEVE Who It Is)

FinnNovember 24, 2025November 24, 2025

Alright, listen up, true believers! 🤡 We all KNOW Spider-Man: Brand New Day is, like, TOTALLY set in the gritty,…

James Cameron dives deep into Billie Eilish’s 3D concert – will it be longer than Avatar
Breaking, Movie News, Music News

James Cameron dives deep into Billie Eilish’s 3D concert – will it be longer than Avatar

FinnNovember 24, 2025November 24, 2025

Oh, dear God, someone stop James Cameron! 🛑 I thought slaving away on those never-ending Avatar sequels (how many are…

Sisu Unchained: An Intimate Chat With the Finnish Dream Team of Helander & Tommila About Their Quest for Sweet, Sweet Vengeance
Breaking, Movie News

Sisu Unchained: An Intimate Chat With the Finnish Dream Team of Helander & Tommila About Their Quest for Sweet, Sweet Vengeance

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 22, 2025November 22, 2025

Alright, buckle up buttercups 💅, because Sisu, that Finnish flick about an old dude who’s basically a one-man army against…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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