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Tag: Cheers

MAGA Elite Donate Big, Expecting Favors from Trump
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

MAGA Elite Donate Big, Expecting Favors from Trump

Big ElephantJune 5, 2026June 5, 2026

Oh joy, oh rapture, it’s a beautiful day in America, folks, and I’m thrilled to be writing about the latest…

EVE Online’s The Capsuleer Edda Because Who Needs Actual Immortality When You Can Just Spend All Your Money on a Video Game Forever
Breaking, Games News

EVE Online’s The Capsuleer Edda Because Who Needs Actual Immortality When You Can Just Spend All Your Money on a Video Game Forever

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 15, 2026May 15, 2026

EVE FanFest 2026 is making waves in the gaming world, and we’re not just talking about the usual cosplay and…

NAPALM DEATH’s SHANE EMBURY Loses Last Shred of Dignity While Gushing Over AT THE GATES Frontman TOMAS LINDBERG: ‘He Was The Only Guy Who Didn’t Think I Was Completely Insane’
Breaking News: Metal Scene Mourns the Loss of a Legend, But Let's Be Real, We're All Just Here for the Free Beer 🍺
Breaking, Music News

NAPALM DEATH’s SHANE EMBURY Loses Last Shred of Dignity While Gushing Over AT THE GATES Frontman TOMAS LINDBERG: ‘He Was The Only Guy Who Didn’t Think I Was Completely Insane’

Chord F. DiscordMay 6, 2026May 6, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, the metal world is still reeling from the loss of Tomas “Tompa” Lindberg, the…

DISTURBED’s John Moyer Somehow Managed To Not Get Wasted For A Whole Year And Is Still Alive To Tell The Tale
Breaking, Music News

DISTURBED’s John Moyer Somehow Managed To Not Get Wasted For A Whole Year And Is Still Alive To Tell The Tale

Chord F. DiscordMay 4, 2026May 4, 2026

Wow, you guys, it’s a miracle! πŸ™Œ John Moyer, the bassist of DISTURBED, has been sober for a whole year!…

BREAKING TRAFFIC Co-Founder DAVE MASON Finally Found a Road That Wasn’t Congested Enough to Take His Life
Breaking, Music News

BREAKING TRAFFIC Co-Founder DAVE MASON Finally Found a Road That Wasn’t Congested Enough to Take His Life

Chord F. DiscordApril 22, 2026April 22, 2026

The legendary musician Dave Mason has left the building, and we’re not just talking about his last concert venue πŸŽΈπŸ‘‹!…

IRON MAIDEN Finally Decides to Release a Documentary That Will Probably Just Be 2 Hours of Bruce Dickinson Talking About His Love of Fencing and Airplanes
Breaking, Music News

IRON MAIDEN Finally Decides to Release a Documentary That Will Probably Just Be 2 Hours of Bruce Dickinson Talking About His Love of Fencing and Airplanes

Chord F. DiscordApril 9, 2026April 9, 2026

Get ready to have your mind blown by the most epic documentary trailer ever created – “Iron Maiden: Burning Ambition”…

Jon Oliva Still Alive Somehow Despite Being Old and Creaky
Breaking, Music News

Jon Oliva Still Alive Somehow Despite Being Old and Creaky

Chord F. DiscordApril 6, 2026April 6, 2026

Breaking News: Jon Oliva is Still Alive and Kicking (Sort Of) 🀣. In a shocking turn of events, the 66-year-old…

Your Tax Refund is Probably Bigger This Yearβ€”Unless Trump’s Iran Drama Eats It All Up | CNN Business
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Your Tax Refund is Probably Bigger This Yearβ€”Unless Trump’s Iran Drama Eats It All Up | CNN Business

Big ElephantMarch 20, 2026March 20, 2026

Breaking: Your Tax Refund Just Got Wiped Out By Iranian Oil Prices, Thanks Obama So much for that “big, beautiful”…

CHEVELLE’s SAM LOEFFLER: A.I. Is ‘Taking Over Your Morning Coffee, Your Midnight Snacks, and Probably Your Dreams’
Holy Crap, Sam Loeffler’s Confused About AI, and I’m Here for It
Breaking, Music News

CHEVELLE’s SAM LOEFFLER: A.I. Is ‘Taking Over Your Morning Coffee, Your Midnight Snacks, and Probably Your Dreams’

Chord F. DiscordMarch 19, 2026March 19, 2026

Oh, look who’s back to remind us that not everyone’s ready to be assimilated into the Borg collective. CHEVELLE’s Sam…

Leaving Las Vegas – Watch the trailer for the new 4K restoration (now with 4000% more despair and Nicolas Cage’s existential crisis in stunning HD!)
Breaking, Movie News

Leaving Las Vegas – Watch the trailer for the new 4K restoration (now with 4000% more despair and Nicolas Cage’s existential crisis in stunning HD!)

FinnMarch 16, 2026March 16, 2026

Hey, you! Yes, YOU, the one who thinks Nicolas Cage’s Oscar is for screaming at bees. Get ready to relive…

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Latest posts

  • How to Deal with Your Kid’s Over the Top Public Displays of Affection Without Losing Your Mind
  • TOM KEIFER Still Singing Cinderella Songs Because You Wont Let Him Retire
  • BREAKING ORANGE ORACLE DROPS BOMBSHELL TRUMP CONQUERS LATIN AMERICA
  • SKILLET To Finally Release Something New Because You’ve All Been Clamoring For More Of The Same Old Stuff In July; ‘Comatose: 20 Years, Still Screaming Tour’ To Launch This Fall Because They Still Can’t Sell Out A Decent Venue
  • Trump vows to punish scum who trashed our great nation’s pool

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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