Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • The Jackal Index
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Chicago

LLOYD promises Sunday Funday at ROOF because apparently Tuesday is too mainstream
Live

LLOYD promises Sunday Funday at ROOF because apparently Tuesday is too mainstream

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 14, 2025

✨ An Exclusive Night of Elite Networking Awaits ✨ Join us for a glamorous rooftop soirée at 1110 S. Wabash…

GUNS N’ ROSES Finally Pick Opening Bands So They Can Look Good By Comparison
Live, Music News

GUNS N’ ROSES Finally Pick Opening Bands So They Can Look Good By Comparison

Chord F. DiscordDecember 11, 2025December 11, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: GUNS N’ ROSES 2026 TOUR ANNOUNCEMENT REVEALED 🚨: AXL ROSE TO UNITE THE NATIONS WITH A LINEUP THAT…

Chicago’s Drunkest Holiday Parade where 12 bars become one giant eggnog nightmare
Live

Chicago’s Drunkest Holiday Parade where 12 bars become one giant eggnog nightmare

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 10, 2025

🚨 LAST CHANCE TO PRE-DRINK FOR YOURSELF, LOSER! 🍻 Your wristband awaits at Murphy’s Bleachers (aka Wrigleyville’s most overpriced gift…

KREATOR Declares War on American Sleep Schedules With CARCASS in 2026
Breaking, Music News

KREATOR Declares War on American Sleep Schedules With CARCASS in 2026

Chord F. DiscordDecember 10, 2025December 10, 2025

GERMAN METAL TITANS KREATOR DESCEND UPON AMERICA LIKE A HORDE OF ENRAGED BAVARIAN WEREWOLVES WITH A NEW ALBUM CALLED ‘KRUSHERS…

CRADLE OF FILTH Drags Themselves Out of the Crypt for Yet Another Tour Because Apparently We Still Haven’t Suffered Enough With SUFFOCATION, GHOST BATH, and CULTUS BLACK in Tow
Live, Music News

CRADLE OF FILTH Drags Themselves Out of the Crypt for Yet Another Tour Because Apparently We Still Haven’t Suffered Enough With SUFFOCATION, GHOST BATH, and CULTUS BLACK in Tow

Chord F. DiscordDecember 9, 2025December 9, 2025

🎸🔥 BREAKING: CRADLE OF FILTH TO EMBARK ON U.S. TOUR, LOCAL VAMPIRES AND GOTH TEENS REJOICE (PARENTS, HIDE YOUR DAUGHTERS)…

Live

J-MORG crowns a night of dark clothing: Yawn

Chuck B. BallsyNovember 30, 2025

J-MORG ENTERTAINMENT PRESENTS: CROWN: THE BLACK ATTIRE GALA on Sat, Nov 29, 2025, at 8:00 PM at The Godfrey Hotel…

Necrobutcher Thinks Mayhem’s Been Around So Long Because He’s Super Invested, LOL
Breaking, Music News

Necrobutcher Thinks Mayhem’s Been Around So Long Because He’s Super Invested, LOL

Chord F. DiscordNovember 27, 2025November 27, 2025

Bassist Jørn “Necrobutcher” Stubberud, the only reason Norwegian black metallers MAYHEM haven’t faded into obscurity, deigned to speak to Mexico’s…

SEPULTURA’s Last Ever European Show (Until the Next One) is a ‘Must-Miss’
Breaking, Music News

SEPULTURA’s Last Ever European Show (Until the Next One) is a ‘Must-Miss’

Chord F. DiscordNovember 25, 2025November 25, 2025

OMG! 😱 Sepultura, those ancient Brazilians👴 with their didgeridoos and tribal beats🥁, are STILL around? After, like, FOUR DECADES of…

Chicago TARDIS 2025: Prepare to Pay Too Much for a Scribble and a Blurry Pic
Live

Chicago TARDIS 2025: Prepare to Pay Too Much for a Scribble and a Blurry Pic

Chuck B. BallsyNovember 23, 2025

Oh, joy! 🙄 Autograph & Photo tickets for Chicago TARDIS 2025 are HERE! 🎉 Get your tickets for Saturday now!…

Trump’s Genius Plan to Defund Cities Backfires Spectacularly, Judges Say “Nah, Bro”
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Genius Plan to Defund Cities Backfires Spectacularly, Judges Say “Nah, Bro”

Big ElephantNovember 22, 2025November 22, 2025

Two activist judges, probably card-carrying members of the Socialist Party, have decided they know better than President Trump when it…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 6 7 8 … 13 Next

Latest posts

  • David Draiman Finally Finds Courage To Ruin Another Classic Song
  • Most Modern in Charlotte, NC (07/09/2026)
  • In A Darkened Room in Charlotte, NC (07/09/2026)
  • MSG Kept List Of Celebrity Guests Including Sexual Orientation Details
  • Trump Blocked from Reclaiming Kennedy Center Naming Rights

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}