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Tag: Christy

Teleprompter Guy Knows Scripts Better Than Stock Market Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Teleprompter Guy Knows Scripts Better Than Stock Market Apparently

Big ElephantAugust 28, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest news, and folks, this one’s a doozy. The Trump administration has…

Mississippi Woman’s Tree Mishap Ends In Predictably Terrible Way
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Mississippi Woman’s Tree Mishap Ends In Predictably Terrible Way

Big ElephantAugust 22, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest news from Mississippi, and I have to say, this one’s…

Mississippi’s Racist History Reenacts Itself Again Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Mississippi’s Racist History Reenacts Itself Again Apparently

Big ElephantAugust 11, 2026

Folks, I’m sitting here with my coffee, reading about the latest news from Mississippi, and I have to say, it’s…

Break Out the Neon and Big Hair Because the Most Iconic and Totally Not Forgotten Cartoon of the 80s Jem and the Holograms Is Getting a Live Action Series Because You Clearly Asked for This
Breaking, Movie News

Break Out the Neon and Big Hair Because the Most Iconic and Totally Not Forgotten Cartoon of the 80s Jem and the Holograms Is Getting a Live Action Series Because You Clearly Asked for This

FinnJune 8, 2026June 8, 2026

Oh joy, because the world was just missing another live-action adaptation of a beloved ’80s franchise, Jem and the Holograms…

Desperate Move: Christy Producers Adding Sydney Sweeney Nudity to Recoup $1.3 Million Flop
Saving Private Ryan: "Christy" Producers Stitching Sydney Sweeney's Bare Breasts Onto Film
Breaking, Movie News

Desperate Move: Christy Producers Adding Sydney Sweeney Nudity to Recoup $1.3 Million Flop

FinnNovember 10, 2025November 10, 2025

Breaking news straight from a panicking Hollywood, where it smells less like popcorn and more like a full-blown box office…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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