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Tag: Cinema

I Clearly Have Nothing Better to Do with My Life So I Decided to Drink the Nastiest Thing in the Galaxy aka Star Wars Blue Milk
Breaking, Movie News

I Clearly Have Nothing Better to Do with My Life So I Decided to Drink the Nastiest Thing in the Galaxy aka Star Wars Blue Milk

FinnMay 1, 2026May 1, 2026

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away… 🚀👽 a man named George Lucas created a film called…

Oh Joy Another Resident Evil Reboot Because the Last 12 Were Not Enough to Traumatize You for Life
Breaking, Movie News

Oh Joy Another Resident Evil Reboot Because the Last 12 Were Not Enough to Traumatize You for Life

FinnApril 30, 2026April 30, 2026

Get ready for another epic failure in the Resident Evil movie franchise, because why not, right? 🙄 We’ve had like,…

Trump Demands Jimmy Kimmel Be Thrown Into the Depths of Unemployment for Daring to Make a Joke That Was Actually Funny About Melania Being a Widow, How Dare He
Breaking

Trump Demands Jimmy Kimmel Be Thrown Into the Depths of Unemployment for Daring to Make a Joke That Was Actually Funny About Melania Being a Widow, How Dare He

FinnApril 28, 2026April 28, 2026

The latest news is that President Trump is having a major meltdown because someone made a joke about him, and…

Oh Joy Another Thriller with Overpaid Actors Like Anne Hathaway, Dakota Johnson and Josh Hartnett Who Will Probably Overact Their Way Through the Entire Movie Verity
Breaking, Movie News

Oh Joy Another Thriller with Overpaid Actors Like Anne Hathaway, Dakota Johnson and Josh Hartnett Who Will Probably Overact Their Way Through the Entire Movie Verity

FinnApril 28, 2026April 28, 2026

The most epic, life-changing, and utterly unnecessary movie news ever: Verity is coming to cinemas! 🎥👀 I mean, who needs…

Nicolas Cage is Apparently a Spider Now Because Why Not
Breaking News: Nicolas Cage to Play Spider-Noir, Because Who Needs a Social Life, Anyway? 🚨🕸️
Breaking, Movie News

Nicolas Cage is Apparently a Spider Now Because Why Not

FinnApril 27, 2026April 27, 2026

In a move that has left everyone wondering if Nicolas Cage has finally lost all sense of reality, Prime Video…

Because the World Was Missing a Movie Where a Cowboy and a Swordsman Team Up to Fight Crime and Look Ridiculously Cool Doing It in a Battle of Wits and Facial Hair
Breaking, Movie News

Because the World Was Missing a Movie Where a Cowboy and a Swordsman Team Up to Fight Crime and Look Ridiculously Cool Doing It in a Battle of Wits and Facial Hair

FinnApril 27, 2026April 27, 2026

Breaking news: Django and Zorro are teaming up, because who doesn’t love a good buddy cop movie… set in the…

Why Was ‘Gen V’ Canceled Because Apparently Zombies and Superheroes Aren’t Cool Anymore
Breaking, Movie News

Why Was ‘Gen V’ Canceled Because Apparently Zombies and Superheroes Aren’t Cool Anymore

FinnApril 26, 2026April 26, 2026

So, you’re wondering why Gen V was canceled? Well, join the club, folks, because apparently, a lot of people are…

Breaking News: Adult Still Watching Cartoons Gets Busted for Leaking Sweet sweet Avatar Action
Breaking, Movie News

Breaking News: Adult Still Watching Cartoons Gets Busted for Leaking Sweet sweet Avatar Action

FinnApril 24, 2026April 24, 2026

A man in Singapore has been arrested for leaking the upcoming animated movie The Legend of Aang: The Last Airbender…

Diana Ross Totally Not Bitter About Being Left Out of the Michael Jackson Biopic or Anything
Breaking, Movie News

Diana Ross Totally Not Bitter About Being Left Out of the Michael Jackson Biopic or Anything

FinnApril 24, 2026April 24, 2026

The drama, the excitement, the utter chaos that is the Michael Jackson biopic! 🎬👀 It’s like a never-ending soap opera,…

CLUELESS Sequel Series Abruptly Cancelled Because Nobody Was Actually Clueless About How Bad The Idea Was
Breaking, Movie News

CLUELESS Sequel Series Abruptly Cancelled Because Nobody Was Actually Clueless About How Bad The Idea Was

FinnApril 23, 2026April 23, 2026

Breaking news, folks: the Clueless sequel series that no one really asked for is not happening at Peacock 🙅‍♀️. I…

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Latest posts

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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