Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • The Jackal Index
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Congress

From Terrorist to Tolerated: The Curious Case of a Puerto Rican Grandma
Live

From Terrorist to Tolerated: The Curious Case of a Puerto Rican Grandma

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 4, 2025

**OMG! Another Lolita Lebrón movie? 🙄 In late 1954, she was sentenced to 50 years in prison in Alderson, West…

Trump Declares War on Drugs (Again!) Congress Thinks He’s Lost It
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Declares War on Drugs (Again!) Congress Thinks He’s Lost It

Big ElephantOctober 2, 2025October 2, 2025

Another day, another victory for President Trump in his tireless war against the forces of evil! It’s about time someone…

OMG! Is Comey Gonna Get a Time-Out for Fibbing to Congress
Elephant Reads CNN

OMG! Is Comey Gonna Get a Time-Out for Fibbing to Congress

Big ElephantSeptember 24, 2025September 24, 2025

Lock him up! Looks like the Deep State swamp rat James Comey might finally face justice for his role in…

Queen’s ‘A Night At The Opera’ & ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ Milking It For 50 More Years With Vinyl (Again)
Breaking, Music News

Queen’s ‘A Night At The Opera’ & ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ Milking It For 50 More Years With Vinyl (Again)

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 18, 2025September 18, 2025

OMG! 🙄 Those geriatric rock gods, QUEEN, are STILL milking that cash cow 🐮 with a 50th-anniversary reissue of their…

White House Begs Congress for a measly $58 Million for some extra Locks after Kirk gets the Boot | CNN Politics
Elephant Reads CNN

White House Begs Congress for a measly $58 Million for some extra Locks after Kirk gets the Boot | CNN Politics

Big ElephantSeptember 15, 2025September 15, 2025

Oh, the horror! More money for security because some unhinged leftist took out a true patriot, Charlie Kirk. You just…

Rep. McCaul Finally Exits Stage Left After a Millennia in Congress
Elephant Reads CNN

Rep. McCaul Finally Exits Stage Left After a Millennia in Congress

Big ElephantSeptember 14, 2025September 14, 2025

Another one bites the dust! McCaul, this Deep State pawn, is “retiring” after two decades of… well, who knows what…

Spinal Tap’s Earth-Shattering Return to Kimmel After a Whopping 15 Years (Finally)
Breaking, Music News

Spinal Tap’s Earth-Shattering Return to Kimmel After a Whopping 15 Years (Finally)

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 9, 2025September 9, 2025

SPINAL TAP, those legends who peaked in the ’80s and have been desperately clinging to relevance ever since, graced the…

Musical Matinees: More Like “My Fair Bore-y”
Live

Musical Matinees: More Like “My Fair Bore-y”

Chuck B. BallsySeptember 6, 2025

My Fair Lady was a hit!💰 Second highest-grossing film of 1964! Won 8 Oscars, including Best Picture, Best Director &…

“Sea Boys” film: Prepare to be Board
Live

“Sea Boys” film: Prepare to be Board

Chuck B. BallsySeptember 6, 2025

RAD Arts Foundation proudly presents Award-Winning Iranian Film Screening🎬 SEA BOYS Cast: Afshin Hashemi, Mona Farjad Yasin Habibpour, Monib Bozorgzadeh…

Oops! Navy SEALs’ ‘Unsuccessful’ Mission: Turns Out, Killing Unarmed Folks Ain’t a Success Story
Elephant Reads CNN

Oops! Navy SEALs’ ‘Unsuccessful’ Mission: Turns Out, Killing Unarmed Folks Ain’t a Success Story

Big ElephantSeptember 5, 2025September 5, 2025

Oh, the liberal media is at it again, folks! Now they’re digging up dirt from five years ago, trying to…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 10 11 12 … 15 Next

Latest posts

  • Planned Parenthood Regains Federal Funding
  • The Worst Time to Leave the Crowd
  • RUSH Hits Madison Square Garden Get Tickets Now
  • Graham Platner quits Senate bid suddenly becomes less interesting
  • ‘Love Island’ Contestant Under Fire After Newly Surfaced Photos Show Him Wearing Shirt

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}