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Tag: Country

“ICE Raids Hyundai Plant: Employees Now Sporting Matching Silver Bracelets”
Elephant Reads CNN

“ICE Raids Hyundai Plant: Employees Now Sporting Matching Silver Bracelets”

Big ElephantSeptember 7, 2025September 7, 2025

Oh, the humanity! Or should I say, the illegality? CNN is clutching its pearls over a completely justified ICE raid…

ProgPower USA 2026: These Bands Are So Old, They Make Dinosaurs Look Like Fresh-Faced Teenagers
Events, Music News

ProgPower USA 2026: These Bands Are So Old, They Make Dinosaurs Look Like Fresh-Faced Teenagers

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 7, 2025September 7, 2025

ENSIFERUM, ELUVEITIE, CONCEPTION, EVERGREY, NEVERMORE (wait, what year is it?!), HAMMERFALL (because who doesn’t love a good hammer?), CRIMSON GLORY…

SEVENDUST To Start Pretending To Work On New Album Later This Month
Breaking, Music News

SEVENDUST To Start Pretending To Work On New Album Later This Month

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 7, 2025September 7, 2025

OMG 😱! SEVENDUST, those dinosaurs 🦖 of rock 🪨, are STILL kicking? Apparently, they’re “putting the finishing touches” (lol, as…

Biden’s Building a Book Palace in Delaware, and Your Wallet’s Invited
Elephant Reads CNN

Biden’s Building a Book Palace in Delaware, and Your Wallet’s Invited

Big ElephantSeptember 6, 2025September 6, 2025

Sleepy Joe’s at it again, folks! Apparently, even after failing to Make America Great Again, he thinks he deserves a…

Oh, the Horror! Ukrainians Might Have to Actually, Like, *Leave* the US
Elephant Reads CNN

Oh, the Horror! Ukrainians Might Have to Actually, Like, *Leave* the US

Big ElephantSeptember 6, 2025

Oh, the humanity! Or should I say, oh, the Ukrainianity? Seems like these poor souls, ushered in under Biden’s “Uniting…

Street Fighter Movie Trailer Drops: Is This the WWE or a Fighting Game, LOL
Breaking, Games News, Movie News

Street Fighter Movie Trailer Drops: Is This the WWE or a Fighting Game, LOL

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 5, 2025September 5, 2025

Oh great, another Street Fighter movie! 🙄 As if the last few weren’t cinematic masterpieces (said no one ever), Legendary…

Witness JLaw and RPatz in a Teaser for a Ramsay Flick About Dying or Whatever
Breaking, Movie News

Witness JLaw and RPatz in a Teaser for a Ramsay Flick About Dying or Whatever

FinnSeptember 5, 2025September 5, 2025

OMG! 😱 MUBI, the platform for people who pretend to understand arthouse cinema, has graced us with a teaser trailer…

Florida GOP Ends Vaccine Mandates: Playing with Fire or Just Being Florida?
Elephant Reads CNN

Florida GOP Ends Vaccine Mandates: Playing with Fire or Just Being Florida?

Big ElephantSeptember 4, 2025September 4, 2025

Oh, those radical Republicans in Florida, finally standing up to the tyranny of…vaccines? It seems the Sunshine State is ditching…

US Military Accidentally Sinks Caribbean Cruise Ship, Blames ‘Drugs,’ Rubio Cheers
Elephant Reads CNN

US Military Accidentally Sinks Caribbean Cruise Ship, Blames ‘Drugs,’ Rubio Cheers

Big ElephantSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

Folks, President Trump just took out another trash barge full of Venezuelan commie drugs! Secretary of State Rubio confirmed our…

House Republicans Prioritize Naming Names Over, Like, Governing, or Whatever
Elephant Reads CNN

House Republicans Prioritize Naming Names Over, Like, Governing, or Whatever

Big ElephantSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

Oh, the swamp creatures are stirring again! Rep. Thomas Massie, bless his heart, is trying to drain the cesspool of…

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Latest posts

  • Trump Orders Advanced Federal Review Of Frontier AI Models
  • 40-Year Old Man Now Spends Inordinate Amount Of Time Researching Electrolytes
  • Department Of Labor Cracks Down On People Getting Paid For Work
  • VOIVOD’s New Concept Album Will Probably Change Your Life Forever and Definitely Won’t Be Delayed Again Until At Least 2030: ‘It’s Gonna Sound A Bit Like A Movie Soundtrack But Only If The Movie Is About Robots And Aliens Fighting In Space’
  • Because You Clearly Haven’t Heard Enough of Purple Rain Yet Prince Estate Digs Up Some More Old Stuff to Sell You Timeless

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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