Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: crime

STU BLOCK Begs BARLOW to Save ICED EARTH From Eternal Awkwardness
Breaking

STU BLOCK Begs BARLOW to Save ICED EARTH From Eternal Awkwardness

Chord F. DiscordMay 20, 2025May 20, 2025

Breaking News! Former ICED EARTH throat-warbler Stu Block, the guy who left faster than Jon Schaffer could say “QAnon,” apparently…

John Corabi Claims Next Solo Album Will Be “Eclectic,” Which Probably Means It’ll Be…Something πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈπŸ˜‚πŸŽΈ
Breaking

John Corabi Claims Next Solo Album Will Be “Eclectic,” Which Probably Means It’ll Be…Something πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈπŸ˜‚πŸŽΈ

Chord F. DiscordMay 19, 2025May 19, 2025

OMG! 😱 Corabi, the dude who briefly replaced Vince Neil in MΓΆtley CrΓΌe (remember that? No? Exactly!), is now apparently…

“Poker Face” Season 2: Still Trying to Bluff Us, Huh
Breaking

“Poker Face” Season 2: Still Trying to Bluff Us, Huh

FinnMay 18, 2025May 18, 2025

OMG! πŸ™„ ‘Poker Face’ Season 2 gets a whopping 8 out of 10 stars? Like, seriously? Did they even WATCH…

Scarlett Johansson and Miles Teller: Single-Handedly Rescuing Cinema (Probably Not) in ‘Paper Tiger’
Breaking

Scarlett Johansson and Miles Teller: Single-Handedly Rescuing Cinema (Probably Not) in ‘Paper Tiger’

FinnMay 15, 2025May 15, 2025

OMG, Hollywood’s recycling again! πŸ™„ Apparently, Anne Hathaway and Jeremy Strong were too busy method-acting their grocery lists to slum…

Jessica Jones is BACK in Daredevil: Born Again Season 2, Just What We Needed
Breaking

Jessica Jones is BACK in Daredevil: Born Again Season 2, Just What We Needed

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 14, 2025May 14, 2025

OMG! 😱 It’s happening! Krysten Ritter, AKA Jessica Jones, AKA the only reason anyone watched those gritty Netflix Marvel shows,…

Jackbox Party Pack 11 Dares to Release “Suspectives,” a Game We’re Already Side-Eyeing πŸ‘€
Breaking

Jackbox Party Pack 11 Dares to Release “Suspectives,” a Game We’re Already Side-Eyeing πŸ‘€

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 5, 2025May 5, 2025

OH. MY. GOD. πŸ™„ Jackbox, those corporate overlords, have dared to grace us with *another* party pack! As if we…

“Another Simple Favor”: Or, How Blake Lively Robbed Me of Two Hours I’ll Never Get Back πŸ™„πŸŽ¬
Breaking

“Another Simple Favor”: Or, How Blake Lively Robbed Me of Two Hours I’ll Never Get Back πŸ™„πŸŽ¬

FinnMay 2, 2025May 2, 2025

So, ‘Another Simple Favor’ got a whopping 7 out of 10 stars, huh? πŸ™„ Must be a slow news day.…

Oh, Canada, eh? πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ Prepare for the earth-shattering, life-altering, probably-the-same-stuff-as-every-other-month content bomb dropping on Disney+ in May 2025! 🍿😴
Breaking

Oh, Canada, eh? πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ Prepare for the earth-shattering, life-altering, probably-the-same-stuff-as-every-other-month content bomb dropping on Disney+ in May 2025! 🍿😴

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 26, 2025April 26, 2025

Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because Disney+ Canada is blessing us with *more* content in May 2025. Yes, MORE. As if…

🀘 Total Metal Meltdown: As I Lay Dying Guitarist Ditches Band After Tim’s Latest Shenanigans!
🧨 Can Tim Lambesis Keep a Band Together? As I Lay Dying Loses Yet Another Guitarist! 🧨
Music News

🀘 Total Metal Meltdown: As I Lay Dying Guitarist Ditches Band After Tim’s Latest Shenanigans!

FinnOctober 31, 2024October 31, 2024

As I Lay Dying guitarist Phil Sgrosso has finally hit his limit and made his exit from the beleaguered metal…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 43 44

Latest posts

  • Diplomats Suddenly Remember They Have Families in Middle East
  • Spin of the Day: A quiz that challenges readers’ knowledge of recent news stories. β€” 87% Journalism Not Found
  • Justice Finally Arrives 14 Years Late to the Party
  • GOP Begs Trump for Cash to Save Sinking Ship
  • NBA Finally Finds Way To Get LeBron To Stand At Attention During National Anthem

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright Β© 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.