Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: DC

Trump Threatens DC Takeover After Ex-Doge Employee’s Wild Ride
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Threatens DC Takeover After Ex-Doge Employee’s Wild Ride

Big ElephantAugust 6, 2025August 6, 2025

Looks like the Swamp is getting swampier! President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is considering federalizing Washington, D.C. after a…

Lou Gramm FINALLY Realizes He Can Still Milk Those Foreigner Hits For Cash
Breaking, Music News

Lou Gramm FINALLY Realizes He Can Still Milk Those Foreigner Hits For Cash

Chord F. DiscordJuly 31, 2025July 30, 2025

In a recent chit-chat with the illustrious Ryan Vacey, a dude who takes photos and hosts the earth-shattering Beyond The…

Wakanda Forever? More Like Wakanda Whenever, Says Confused Disney+
Breaking, Movie News

Wakanda Forever? More Like Wakanda Whenever, Says Confused Disney+

FinnJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

Oh, great, another Marvel cartoon 🙄. As if we didn’t have enough superhero content already. Brace yourselves, folks, because Disney+…

5 Things You NEED to Know on July 28th (Or the World Might Explode)
Elephant Reads CNN

5 Things You NEED to Know on July 28th (Or the World Might Explode)

Big ElephantJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

Well, folks, another day, another desperate attempt by the liberal media to undermine our GREAT President Trump! First up, a…

Peacemaker Season 2 Trailer: More explosions, more John Cena flexing, less plot
Breaking, Movie News

Peacemaker Season 2 Trailer: More explosions, more John Cena flexing, less plot

FinnJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

Oh, great, HBO Max decided to bless us with more Peacemaker, because clearly, we didn’t have enough superhero content clogging…

D.C.’s Soggy Paper Parade: A Festival of Floating Fire Hazards
Live

D.C.’s Soggy Paper Parade: A Festival of Floating Fire Hazards

Chuck B. BallsyJuly 28, 2025

**OMG! 🙄 Water Lantern Festival at National Harbor SouthPointe, Oxon Hill is lit! 🔥 Tickets via https://www.waterlanternfestival.com/events/washington-dc-25!** Voted #1 by…

Watch GHOST’s ‘Lachryma’ Performance on Fallon: Prepare for Ritualistic Rock and Potential Summoning of Demons
Breaking, Music News

Watch GHOST’s ‘Lachryma’ Performance on Fallon: Prepare for Ritualistic Rock and Potential Summoning of Demons

Chord F. DiscordJuly 24, 2025July 24, 2025

GHOST, the Swedish rock band that some people seem to like (for reasons I cannot fathom), graced the stage of…

ICE CREAM, CELLPHONES, AND FAT CATS: NEWS SO IMPORTANT, YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT
Elephant Reads CNN

ICE CREAM, CELLPHONES, AND FAT CATS: NEWS SO IMPORTANT, YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT

Big ElephantJuly 23, 2025July 23, 2025

Folks, another day, another socialist scare from CNN! They’re trying to distract you from President Trump’s incredible leadership, but we…

OMG! Lady Gaga Channels Her Inner Bat-Eating Rockstar: A Hilarious Tribute to Ozzy in San Fran
Breaking, Music News

OMG! Lady Gaga Channels Her Inner Bat-Eating Rockstar: A Hilarious Tribute to Ozzy in San Fran

Chord F. DiscordJuly 23, 2025July 23, 2025

Pop “superstar” Lady Gaga, bless her heart, decided to “honor” the Prince of Darkness, Ozzy Osbourne, at the grand finale…

James Gunn Blames America-Hating Haters for ‘Superman’ Flop
Breaking, Movie News

James Gunn Blames America-Hating Haters for ‘Superman’ Flop

FinnJuly 22, 2025July 22, 2025

James Gunn, our supreme overlord and benevolent dictator of DC Studios, has graced us with his infinite wisdom, explaining why…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 15 16 17 … 21 Next

Latest posts

  • AC/DC somehow still touring because boomers need something to do
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald J Trump orders flags lowered for Lindsey Graham
  • Pitbull Breaks Record For Largest Crowd In Bald Caps Gathering
  • Tariffs somehow not magically fixing everything instantly still
  • Jack White Performs with Daughter Scarlett in Brooklyn

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}