Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Disneyland

Universal Throws in Towel on Another Overhyped Attraction Because Of Course They Did
Breaking, Movie News

Universal Throws in Towel on Another Overhyped Attraction Because Of Course They Did

FinnSeptember 2, 2026September 2, 2026

Universal Orlando is saying goodbye to another piece of its past, as Animal Actors on Location is set to close…

Disney Buys Pokémon Because You Clearly Needed More Franchises
Breaking, Movie News

Disney Buys Pokémon Because You Clearly Needed More Franchises

FinnAugust 28, 2026August 28, 2026

Pokémon is coming to Disney+, because of course it is. The massively popular multimedia franchise has struck a “global distribution…

Disney Magic Defies Travel Slump With Record Growth Somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Disney Magic Defies Travel Slump With Record Growth Somehow

Big ElephantAugust 13, 2026

I’m sipping on my morning coffee, reading the latest from CNN, and I just can’t help but chuckle at the…

Kingdom Hearts 4 Hints Abound as Voice Actors Slip Into D23 Lineup
Breaking, Games News

Kingdom Hearts 4 Hints Abound as Voice Actors Slip Into D23 Lineup

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 7, 2026August 7, 2026

The Kingdom Hearts 4 hype train has finally left the station, and I’m not sure if I should be excited…

Disney Underwhelmed By Underperformance Of Obvious Cash Grabs
Breaking, Movie News

Disney Underwhelmed By Underperformance Of Obvious Cash Grabs

FinnAugust 5, 2026August 5, 2026

Josh D’Amaro, CEO of Disney, recently acknowledged that the live-action remake of Moana and Star Wars: The Mandalorian and Grogu…

I Clearly Have Nothing Better to Do with My Life So I Decided to Drink the Nastiest Thing in the Galaxy aka Star Wars Blue Milk
Breaking, Movie News

I Clearly Have Nothing Better to Do with My Life So I Decided to Drink the Nastiest Thing in the Galaxy aka Star Wars Blue Milk

FinnMay 1, 2026May 1, 2026

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away… 🚀👽 a man named George Lucas created a film called…

KREATOR Made a Music Video For ‘Loyal To The Grave’ and It’s Totally Not a Desperate Cry For Relevance Inspired by a 28-Year-Old Movie
Breaking, Music News

KREATOR Made a Music Video For ‘Loyal To The Grave’ and It’s Totally Not a Desperate Cry For Relevance Inspired by a 28-Year-Old Movie

Chord F. DiscordMarch 30, 2026March 30, 2026

Get ready for some face-melting, ear-shredding, and soul-crushing metal music, because the German/Finnish/French thrash metal legends KREATOR have just dropped…

SEBASTIAN BACH DENOUNCES A.I.: ‘I’LL SERVE YOU REAL STUPIDITY, NOT FAKE SMARTNESS’
Sebastian Bach: The Rock Dinosaur Who Refuses to Let Robots Steal His Job
Breaking, Music News

SEBASTIAN BACH DENOUNCES A.I.: ‘I’LL SERVE YOU REAL STUPIDITY, NOT FAKE SMARTNESS’

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 21, 2026February 21, 2026

Well, well, well… look who’s back in the headlines, throwing shade at all these modern bands who can’t be bothered…

Behold the Resurrection Trailer: Bi Gan’s Cinematic Lazarus Act or Just Another Long Take?
Breaking, Movie News

Behold the Resurrection Trailer: Bi Gan’s Cinematic Lazarus Act or Just Another Long Take?

FinnFebruary 16, 2026February 16, 2026

Holy dream-invading, batman! In a world where humans have apparently hit the snooze button on their imagination, we now have…

Man Breaks World Record for Most Times Riding Disneyland’s ‘Cars’ Ride, Probably Needs a New Hobby
Breaking, Games News

Man Breaks World Record for Most Times Riding Disneyland’s ‘Cars’ Ride, Probably Needs a New Hobby

FinnFebruary 5, 2026February 5, 2026

Oh, look at Mr. Big Shot, Jon Hale of Brea, California. This guy has ridden Radiator Springs Racers more times…

Posts pagination

1 2 Next

Latest posts

  • CIA Finally Spills the Beans on 9/11 Intel 20 Years Later
  • Sandra Bullock Regrets ‘Practical Magic 2’ After Realizing She Could’ve Just Had Dinner With Nicole Kidman
  • Oasis Drops Hint About September 14th Reveal Amid Tour Buzz
  • Soul Glo Brings Punk Back to its Roots with February Theory
  • Judge Judy Ends Reign on TV This October

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.