Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Early Access

Subnautica 2 Sells 2 Million Copies in 12 Hours Because Who Needs Human Interaction Anyway
Breaking, Games News

Subnautica 2 Sells 2 Million Copies in 12 Hours Because Who Needs Human Interaction Anyway

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 15, 2026May 15, 2026

Wow, what a wild ride for Subnautica 2! ðŸŽĒ After a lengthy lawsuit with publisher Krafton, Unknown Worlds has finally…

Subnautica 2 Early Access Preview – Because You Didn’t Spend Enough Time Drowning in the First One Yet
Breaking, Games News

Subnautica 2 Early Access Preview – Because You Didn’t Spend Enough Time Drowning in the First One Yet

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 14, 2026May 14, 2026

The wait is over, folks! 🎉 Subnautica 2 is finally here, and it’s time to dive back into the world…

LEGO Is Desperately Trying To Drain Your Wallet Again With A Ridiculously Expensive Minas Tirith To Celebrate 25 Years Of You Wasting Money On Plastic Bricks
Breaking News: LEGO Icons Just Released the Most Epic The Lord of the Rings Set Ever, and We're Totally Geeked! ðŸĪĐ
Breaking, Games News

LEGO Is Desperately Trying To Drain Your Wallet Again With A Ridiculously Expensive Minas Tirith To Celebrate 25 Years Of You Wasting Money On Plastic Bricks

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 12, 2026May 12, 2026

LEGO Icons has just unveiled The Lord of the Rings: Minas Tirith – 25th Anniversary Legacy Collection, a celebration of…

Far Far West Early Access Preview — Because Who Needs a Social Life When You Can Watch Robots Rustle Cattle
Breaking, Games News

Far Far West Early Access Preview — Because Who Needs a Social Life When You Can Watch Robots Rustle Cattle

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 28, 2026April 28, 2026

Far Far West is a game that’s so crazy, it just might work ðŸĪŠ. With its wacky cartoon aesthetic, roguelike…

Masters of Albion Early Access Preview – Because Your Life Was Missing a Healthy Dose of Crushing Mediocrity and Unfulfilled Promises
Masters of Albion: Because Who Needs Fully Realized Games, Anyway? ðŸĪĢ
Breaking, Games News

Masters of Albion Early Access Preview – Because Your Life Was Missing a Healthy Dose of Crushing Mediocrity and Unfulfilled Promises

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 22, 2026April 22, 2026

So, Peter Molyneux is back with another game that’s supposed to change the world, or at least that’s what he…

Oh Joy Another Pirate Game Because We Didn’t Have Enough Already Windrose Early Access Preview
Breaking, Games News

Oh Joy Another Pirate Game Because We Didn’t Have Enough Already Windrose Early Access Preview

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 13, 2026April 13, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys in for a treat! 🎉 I’m reviewing Windrose, a game that’s all about being a…

Morbid Metal Because Who Needs Sanity When You Can Slash Robots
Breaking, Games News

Morbid Metal Because Who Needs Sanity When You Can Slash Robots

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 3, 2026April 3, 2026

I’m so excited to dive into Morbid Metal, a game that’s been lurking in the shadows, waiting to unleash its…

Oh Joy Another Overhyped Game “It Has My Face” Finally Leaves Early Access Because You Clearly Needed More Survival Horror Games With Slightly Different Mechanics And A Creepy Face On The Cover
Breaking, Games News

Oh Joy Another Overhyped Game “It Has My Face” Finally Leaves Early Access Because You Clearly Needed More Survival Horror Games With Slightly Different Mechanics And A Creepy Face On The Cover

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 3, 2026April 3, 2026

NightByte Games and Behaviour Interactive are finally done messing around with their new game, It Has My Face, and it’s…

Get Ready for the Most Thrilling Experience of Watching Your Character Die Repeatedly in Ascenders: Because Who Needs to Reach the Peak Anyway
Breaking, Games News

Get Ready for the Most Thrilling Experience of Watching Your Character Die Repeatedly in Ascenders: Because Who Needs to Reach the Peak Anyway

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 2, 2026April 2, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for another climbing game? ðŸĪĢ Because, apparently, the world was just missing a game…

The Agonizing Decision of the Century: Will You Waste Your Life on Hearthstone, Get Addicted to Slay the Spire 2, or Settle for the Clearly Superior Balatro
Breaking, Games News

The Agonizing Decision of the Century: Will You Waste Your Life on Hearthstone, Get Addicted to Slay the Spire 2, or Settle for the Clearly Superior Balatro

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 1, 2026April 1, 2026

So, you want to know about digital card games, huh? ðŸĪ” Well, let me tell you, they’re a thing, and…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 3 4 5 … 7 Next

Latest posts

  • KATSEYE Taps DJ Pedro Sampaio For Brazilian Funk HOOTIE FRUTTI Remix
  • Cop Who Mistook Apartment Gets Early Get Out of Jail Free Card
  • Dexter Resurrection Season 2 Trailer Because You Clearly Didn’t Learn Your Lesson from Watching the First Season
  • Turnstile Vow To Respect SNL Set In New Teaser Clip
  • Trump Offers Exclusive Dinner To Whoever Can Tolerate Him Longest

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright ÂĐ 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.