Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: election

Gavin Newsom, Benevolent Overlord, Graces You With Redistricting Wisdom
Elephant Reads CNN

Gavin Newsom, Benevolent Overlord, Graces You With Redistricting Wisdom

Big ElephantAugust 17, 2025August 17, 2025

Ah, Gavin Newsom, the golden-haired boy of the loony left, is at it again! Trying to gerrymander his way to…

AT&T to generously sprinkle a measly $7,500 over data breach victims from their overflowing $177 million treasure chest
Elephant Reads CNN

AT&T to generously sprinkle a measly $7,500 over data breach victims from their overflowing $177 million treasure chest

Big ElephantAugust 16, 2025August 16, 2025

Oh, great, another day, another liberal company whining about data breaches! Seems like AT&T, probably run by a bunch of…

Air Canada Apocalypse: Your Flight’s Doomed, Here’s How to (Maybe) Survive
Elephant Reads CNN

Air Canada Apocalypse: Your Flight’s Doomed, Here’s How to (Maybe) Survive

Big ElephantAugust 16, 2025August 16, 2025

Another day, another socialist temper tantrum! Air Canada flight attendants, probably radical leftists funded by Soros, are threatening to strike…

Texas Republicans are so generous they’re letting Democrats WATCH them redistrict again
Elephant Reads CNN

Texas Republicans are so generous they’re letting Democrats WATCH them redistrict again

Big ElephantAugust 15, 2025August 15, 2025

Another day, another desperate attempt by the radical Democrats to undermine our GREAT President Trump and the glorious state of…

CNN Says Trump’s “Legal Retribution Tour” Is Now “Blatant,” As If We Didn’t Notice
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Says Trump’s “Legal Retribution Tour” Is Now “Blatant,” As If We Didn’t Notice

Big ElephantAugust 10, 2025August 10, 2025

Well, well, well, look what we have here! It seems like President Trump is cleaning house and draining the swamp,…

War? What War? Trump and Putin to Finally Decide Who’s the Real Boss
Elephant Reads CNN

War? What War? Trump and Putin to Finally Decide Who’s the Real Boss

Big ElephantAugust 7, 2025August 7, 2025

Oh, the horror! Russia’s at it again, trying to “split and cut off” some Ukrainian city with a whopping 2,000…

Jack Smith’s Getting Investigated? Color Me Shocked
Elephant Reads CNN

Jack Smith’s Getting Investigated? Color Me Shocked

Big ElephantAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

Lock Him Up! It seems that even deep state operatives like Jack Smith aren’t immune to the long arm of…

‘2000 Meters to Nowhere’: A CNN Photo Op in Ukraine’s Ongoing Totally-Not-a-Stalemate
Elephant Reads CNN

‘2000 Meters to Nowhere’: A CNN Photo Op in Ukraine’s Ongoing Totally-Not-a-Stalemate

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

Another tear-jerker from the Fake News CNN, folks! This time, they’re pushing a “documentary” about Ukrainian soldiers. I bet it’s…

GOP Lawmakers Throwing Shade Like Epstein’s Island Tan
Elephant Reads CNN

GOP Lawmakers Throwing Shade Like Epstein’s Island Tan

Big ElephantJuly 27, 2025July 27, 2025

Well, folks, the Fake News at CNN is at it again, trying to stir up drama and division among Republicans…

Dork Does Dumb Stunt in a Dirigible- CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Dork Does Dumb Stunt in a Dirigible- CNN

Big ElephantJuly 27, 2025July 27, 2025

Another day, another puff piece from Fake News CNN, this time fawning over a glorified balloon! They call it the…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 25 26 27 … 31 Next

Latest posts

  • Spider-Man Breaks Box Office Records Again Because Of Course It Does
  • Why Hollywood Keeps Making the Same Movies Over and Over
  • Lita Ford somehow still alive and making music again
  • Tony Iommi still making riffs because what else is he gonna do
  • Lollapalooza 2026 Sizzles with Jennie and Wolf Alice Sets

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.