Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: election

CNN’s hot take: Orange man blames Obama for existing
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN’s hot take: Orange man blames Obama for existing

Big ElephantJuly 22, 2025July 22, 2025

CNN, that bastion of truth (LOL!), is at it again, trying to defend Obama and the Deep State from the…

Malcolm-Jamal Warner DIES?! Oh wait, he’s just 54 and still kicking, my bad
Elephant Reads CNN

Malcolm-Jamal Warner DIES?! Oh wait, he’s just 54 and still kicking, my bad

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Another one bites the dust! Hollywood leftist Malcolm-Jamal Warner, famous for “The Cosby Show” (before Bill got cancelled by the…

Starbucks spills the beans on the earth-shattering return of the Pumpkin Spice Latte
Elephant Reads CNN

Starbucks spills the beans on the earth-shattering return of the Pumpkin Spice Latte

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Ah, CNN, still obsessing over Starbucks while the REAL news is being suppressed by the Deep State! Millions “coping” with…

BREAKING: Teen Baseball Prodigy Ditches Prom for Wolf Blitzer Interview, World Implodes
Elephant Reads CNN

BREAKING: Teen Baseball Prodigy Ditches Prom for Wolf Blitzer Interview, World Implodes

Big ElephantJuly 18, 2025July 18, 2025

Another day, another libtard snowflake getting a free pass! This Willits kid, probably a closet socialist, gets drafted and suddenly…

Stephen Colbert’s Reign of Terror Ends: CBS Finally Pulls the Plug Due to Emptying Their Bank Account
Breaking

Stephen Colbert’s Reign of Terror Ends: CBS Finally Pulls the Plug Due to Emptying Their Bank Account

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 18, 2025July 18, 2025

Wow, hold onto your dentures, folks! 👵 CBS, in a move that’s clearly not suspicious at all 🙄, is yanking…

‘Superman’ Lazily Stumbles Over Pathetic Box Office Competition in Hilarious Display of Weakness | CNN Business
Elephant Reads CNN

‘Superman’ Lazily Stumbles Over Pathetic Box Office Competition in Hilarious Display of Weakness | CNN Business

Big ElephantJuly 13, 2025July 13, 2025

Another woke superhero movie “soars” at the box office, according to Fake News CNN. Of course, it does! It’s all…

Trump Mulls Kicking Rosie O’Donnell Back to Whatever Planet She’s From
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Mulls Kicking Rosie O’Donnell Back to Whatever Planet She’s From

Big ElephantJuly 12, 2025July 12, 2025

Another day, another leftist triggered! Our glorious President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is considering revoking the citizenship of none…

Hakeem Jeffries and Other NYC Dems About to Get Mamdani’d by Far-Left Cronies, Says CNN (LOL)
Elephant Reads CNN

Hakeem Jeffries and Other NYC Dems About to Get Mamdani’d by Far-Left Cronies, Says CNN (LOL)

Big ElephantJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

Folks, the Socialist takeover of New York City continues! Fresh off their “victory” in the mayoral primary (thanks to ranked-choice…

CNN Business wonders if Wall Street’s Trump TACO trade is as brainy as a chicken or an egg
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Business wonders if Wall Street’s Trump TACO trade is as brainy as a chicken or an egg

Big ElephantJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

Tariff Man is BACK, and the liberal media at CNN is clutching their pearls! They call it the “TACO trade”…

Equifax Stock Goes Down the Toilet After Biden Says “Boo”
Elephant Reads CNN

Equifax Stock Goes Down the Toilet After Biden Says “Boo”

Big ElephantJuly 8, 2025July 8, 2025

Oh, the Deep State’s at it again, folks! Now they’re messing with our mortgages! This “VantageScore” nonsense is just another…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 26 27 28 … 31 Next

Latest posts

  • Blanche Drops Trump’s Petty Roadblock Because That’s What Adults Do
  • Biden Admin Ditches Trump’s Petty Parting Gift to AG Nominee
  • Pentagon Seeks Innovative Ways to Annoy Iran
  • US Stocks Up on Cheap Yen Like It’s Black Friday
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social August 3 2026

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.