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Tag: Exclusive

“The Disinvited” Gets Rescued from the VHS Graveyard by Dark Star Pictures
Breaking, Music News

“The Disinvited” Gets Rescued from the VHS Graveyard by Dark Star Pictures

FinnAugust 22, 2025August 22, 2025

Dark Star Pictures, bless their cotton socks, has decided to unleash upon the world a cinematic masterpiece – or, you…

Triangle Strategy Finally Escapes Nintendo’s Clutches, Invades Xbox Today
Breaking, Games News

Triangle Strategy Finally Escapes Nintendo’s Clutches, Invades Xbox Today

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 20, 2025August 20, 2025

Oh, look, Xbox “kicked off” its gamescom 2025 “Day 1” broadcast by announcing Triangle Strategy is gracing their consoles with…

Delta Farce: This F2P FPS Might Actually Be Okay (No, Really)
Breaking, Games News

Delta Farce: This F2P FPS Might Actually Be Okay (No, Really)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 18, 2025August 18, 2025

Oh no, another PC game that console peasants 🤢 can’t play? Boo-hoo. Seriously though, as a dedicated console gamer (because…

Soho House flees the public market, Ashton Kutcher to pretend he knows what he’s doing
Elephant Reads CNN

Soho House flees the public market, Ashton Kutcher to pretend he knows what he’s doing

Big ElephantAugust 18, 2025August 18, 2025

Another bastion of liberal elites crumbles! Soho House, that playground for champagne socialists and virtue signaling celebrities, is going private…

Jalen Hinton: From Zero to Hero in One Day
Events

Jalen Hinton: From Zero to Hero in One Day

Chuck B. BallsyAugust 18, 2025

**J.One.8, a comedic genius from St. Louis, MO, is gracing The Comedy Bar stage!** Prepare for “family-friendly” jokes and unforgettable…

PAX West 2025: Bandai Namco Attempts to Distract You From Elden Ring DLC With More Games
Events, Games News

PAX West 2025: Bandai Namco Attempts to Distract You From Elden Ring DLC With More Games

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 17, 2025August 17, 2025

Alright gamers, buckle up because Bandai Namco, bless their cotton socks, is apparently trying to distract us from the impending…

Nintendo’s August Indie World Showcase: A Celebration of Games You’ll Forget Exist in a Week
Breaking, Games News

Nintendo’s August Indie World Showcase: A Celebration of Games You’ll Forget Exist in a Week

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 17, 2025August 17, 2025

Wow, Nintendo is still pretending to care about indie games? 😂 I mean, sure, they throw a bone every now…

DREAM THEATER Releases Graphic Novel: Prepare for Maximum Prog-Nostalgia Induced Coma
Breaking, Music News

DREAM THEATER Releases Graphic Novel: Prepare for Maximum Prog-Nostalgia Induced Coma

Chord F. DiscordAugust 14, 2025August 14, 2025

Oh, sweet merciful prog! 🙄 In October 2023, the planets aligned, the unicorns 🦄 danced, and Mike Portnoy, after a…

ANTHRAX: Still Alive? Book Your Geriatric Metal Cruise Cabin Now!
Breaking, Events, Music News

ANTHRAX: Still Alive? Book Your Geriatric Metal Cruise Cabin Now!

Chord F. DiscordAugust 12, 2025August 12, 2025

Ahoy, shipmates! Get ready to drain your bank accounts 💸 because 70000 Tons Of Metal, the only metal cruise that…

BREAKING: Old Book About Some Band With a Blimp On It To Arrive In September, Who Cares
Breaking, Music News

BREAKING: Old Book About Some Band With a Blimp On It To Arrive In September, Who Cares

Chord F. DiscordAugust 12, 2025August 12, 2025

Lansdowne Books, those purveyors of fine literature (and by “fine” we mean “overpriced”), have pre-launched (yes, PRE-launched, like it’s going…

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  • All Hail Megatron, the Only Theme Park Meet and Greet Character Who Won’t Judge You for Eating an Entire Churro by Yourself While Crying

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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