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How to Turn Your ADHD Into a Six-Figure Consulting Scam (Without Actually Scamming Anyone)
Events

How to Turn Your ADHD Into a Six-Figure Consulting Scam (Without Actually Scamming Anyone)

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 23, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Autistic People Actually Have Culture?! Yale Finally Notices in 2025 🚨 Join the Cultural Autism Studies at Yale…

Watch: Original BULLETBOYS Lineup Finally Stops Avoiding Each Other Long Enough to Play a Gig
Breaking, Music News

Watch: Original BULLETBOYS Lineup Finally Stops Avoiding Each Other Long Enough to Play a Gig

Chord F. DiscordDecember 21, 2025December 21, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Bulletboys Reunite After Four Years, Fans Experience Both Excitement and Existential Dread 🚨 In a stunning turn of…

Wayne Static’s Ghost Sends Cease-and-Desist to Filmmaker for Unauthorized Biopic of the Man Who Invented the Devil Horns
Breaking, Music News

Wayne Static’s Ghost Sends Cease-and-Desist to Filmmaker for Unauthorized Biopic of the Man Who Invented the Devil Horns

Chord F. DiscordDecember 15, 2025December 15, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Wayne Static’s Ghost Allegedly Sues Living Filmmaker for ‘Unauthorized Vibes’ in Bizarre Legal Drama 🚨 In a turn…

Uncle Sam Finally Identifies the Guys Who Signed Up for Adventure but Got Ambushed in Syria Instead
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Uncle Sam Finally Identifies the Guys Who Signed Up for Adventure but Got Ambushed in Syria Instead

Big ElephantDecember 15, 2025December 15, 2025

The two US Army soldiers killed in Syria on Saturday were Sgt. Edgar Brian Torres Tovar, 25, of Des Moines,…

Responding Well to Disclosures *ONLY FOR SUSSEX VCSE OR PUBLIC SECTOR*
Events

Responding Well to Disclosures *ONLY FOR SUSSEX VCSE OR PUBLIC SECTOR*

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 15, 2025

Survivors’ Network presents the FREE “How to Not Suck at First Disclosures” course—because awkward silence won’t cut it when someone…

Director of Unauthorized Wayne Static Biopic Fires Back at Estate After They Said “No”
Breaking, Movie News, Music News

Director of Unauthorized Wayne Static Biopic Fires Back at Estate After They Said “No”

Chord F. DiscordDecember 13, 2025December 13, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: The Ghosts of Wayne Static and Tera Wray Are About to Star in a Documentary Drama So Juicy…

New Christmas Movies to Watch in 2025 (Because Netflix Finally Ran Out of Reality Shows)
Breaking, Movie News

New Christmas Movies to Watch in 2025 (Because Netflix Finally Ran Out of Reality Shows)

FinnDecember 12, 2025December 12, 2025

‘Tis the season for brand new Christmas movies, because apparently, we haven’t suffered enough yet. 🎄 As we plunge headfirst…

The Other Side of the Bed Is Apparently Where All the Socks Disappear To
Events

The Other Side of the Bed Is Apparently Where All the Socks Disappear To

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 11, 2025

🚨BREAKING: Local Hospice Nurse Becomes Patient After Allegedly Forgetting to Eat Kale!🚨 What happens when a hospice nurse who’s seen…

When Your ADHD Kid Starts Roasting You: How to Turn Insults into Life Lessons
Events

When Your ADHD Kid Starts Roasting You: How to Turn Insults into Life Lessons

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 11, 2025

**”I wish I was never born.” 😅 “Everyone would be better off without me…” 😭 Heartbreaking? Yes. But guess what,…

Families of Static-X’s Wayne Static and Wife Tera Wray ‘Vehemently Protest’ Unauthorized Documentary Shenanigans
Breaking, Music News

Families of Static-X’s Wayne Static and Wife Tera Wray ‘Vehemently Protest’ Unauthorized Documentary Shenanigans

Chord F. DiscordDecember 10, 2025December 10, 2025

In a shocking turn of events that absolutely nobody saw coming (except, you know, everyone with internet access), the families…

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Latest posts

  • Lea Michele Shows Off Ability To Make Co-Star Cry On Command
  • Fake news saying Trump can’t spin Iran deal as huge win somehow
  • Vance blasts Iran deal with rightful American skepticism and distrust always
  • Liberal incompetence ruins Reflecting Pool with dumb renovation fail again
  • Get Ready for the Most Epic Fail of the Week Freaky Friday Challenge Is Back

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Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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