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Tag: Family

From “I Do” to “I Mow”: She Swore to Uphold the Sacred Tree-Chopping Vows
Elephant Reads CNN

From “I Do” to “I Mow”: She Swore to Uphold the Sacred Tree-Chopping Vows

Big ElephantJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

Oh, the heartwarming tale of a Christmas tree farm in Wooster, Ohio! It’s just precious how Rita Dush is keeping…

BUCKCHERRY’s JOSH TODD: Sober? More Like Sobering-ly Boring, Am I Right?
Breaking, Music News

BUCKCHERRY’s JOSH TODD: Sober? More Like Sobering-ly Boring, Am I Right?

Chord F. DiscordJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

Oh, look, it’s Josh Todd from BUCKCHERRY, still clinging to relevance by talking about his sobriety 🙄. In a recent…

Mama Bear YEETS Trash Panda Away From Tiny Human
Elephant Reads CNN

Mama Bear YEETS Trash Panda Away From Tiny Human

Big ElephantJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

Another day, another victim of the radical left’s open-borders policy – this time, it’s a five-year-old girl attacked by a…

Family Subjects Traumatized Vietnam Vet to Eagles Tailgate Birthday Hazing
Elephant Reads CNN

Family Subjects Traumatized Vietnam Vet to Eagles Tailgate Birthday Hazing

Big ElephantJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

Eagles fans celebrate with gluttony and booze! Is this what our Founding Fathers envisioned? Probably not, but at least they’re…

‘Starwalker’ Director Says Woke Mob Can’t Stop the Space Queers
Breaking, Movie News

‘Starwalker’ Director Says Woke Mob Can’t Stop the Space Queers

FinnJune 10, 2025June 10, 2025

Oh honey, you thought the struggle for queer rights was over? 🙄 Well, buckle up buttercup, because Corey Payette’s Starwalker…

‘Incredibles 3’ Director Found—Prepare for Disappointment
Breaking, Movie News

‘Incredibles 3’ Director Found—Prepare for Disappointment

FinnJune 10, 2025June 10, 2025

Oh, honey, hold onto your capes because Pixar is about to unleash Incredibles 3, and it’s gonna be… something. 🍿 Get…

ORBIT CULTURE Announces New Album ‘Death Above Life’ (Because Apparently Life Wasn’t Depressing Enough), Shares Video For
Breaking, Music News

ORBIT CULTURE Announces New Album ‘Death Above Life’ (Because Apparently Life Wasn’t Depressing Enough), Shares Video For

Chord F. DiscordJune 10, 2025June 12, 2025

Oh, great. More metal. 🙄 Sweden’s very own ORBIT CULTURE (never heard of ’em) are gracing us with a new…

Fortnite x The Simpsons: Prepare for Peak Gaming Stupidity
Breaking, Games News

Fortnite x The Simpsons: Prepare for Peak Gaming Stupidity

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 9, 2025June 9, 2025

Oh, sweet RNGesus, another crossover? 🙄 Apparently, according to some “leakers” (aka basement dwellers with too much time on their…

Possessor(s): A Metroidvania So Stylish, It Probably Owes Me Money
Breaking, Games News

Possessor(s): A Metroidvania So Stylish, It Probably Owes Me Money

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 7, 2025June 7, 2025

Okay, so Possessor(s) thinks it’s all that with its “personality” dripping everywhere, like a leaky faucet of demonic… stuff. Potted…

ACCEPT’s Geriatric Romp Through Stockholm: A 2025 Saga of Sunscreen and Stage Diving (Maybe)
Breaking, Music News

ACCEPT’s Geriatric Romp Through Stockholm: A 2025 Saga of Sunscreen and Stage Diving (Maybe)

Chord F. DiscordJune 7, 2025June 7, 2025

Fan-filmed video of ACCEPT’s June 3 gig at Gröna Lund in Stockholm is here! If you’re desperate enough to watch…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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