Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Features

OMG! Sega’s “Totally Original” Switch 2 Lineup: Prepare for Mind-Blowingly Predictable Hilarity
Breaking

OMG! Sega’s “Totally Original” Switch 2 Lineup: Prepare for Mind-Blowingly Predictable Hilarity

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 21, 2025May 21, 2025

Oh. My. God. The Nintendo Switch 2 is REAL, you guys! And apparently, Sega, yes, *that* Sega, the one that…

P.O.D. Guitarist Declares Rock Fans Too Dumb to See Beyond Power Chords
Breaking

P.O.D. Guitarist Declares Rock Fans Too Dumb to See Beyond Power Chords

Chord F. DiscordMay 20, 2025May 20, 2025

OMG! 🙄 Marcos Curiel from P.O.D. (Still a band?!) gave an interview where he basically said they’re musical geniuses who…

Razer Blade: Now So Thin It Can Cut You (and Your Wallet), So Smart It Judges Your Life Choices, and So Powerful It Can Barely Run Windows
Breaking

Razer Blade: Now So Thin It Can Cut You (and Your Wallet), So Smart It Judges Your Life Choices, and So Powerful It Can Barely Run Windows

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 20, 2025May 20, 2025

Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because Razer just dropped their “thinnest and most powerful” Blade laptop yet! 🙄 I’m sure it’s…

OMG! Corsair’s WILD SCIMITAR ELITE WIRELESS SE Now Controls Your Cat Videos With Elgato’s Help
Breaking

OMG! Corsair’s WILD SCIMITAR ELITE WIRELESS SE Now Controls Your Cat Videos With Elgato’s Help

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 20, 2025May 20, 2025

Behold, peasants! At Computex 2025, the overlords at Corsair and Elgato, still clinging to relevance in this AI-dominated dystopia, have…

Katatonia Drops New Emo Anthem “Temporal” From Their Album So Depressing It Makes NyQuil Look Like a Rave 🎉😴.
Breaking

Katatonia Drops New Emo Anthem “Temporal” From Their Album So Depressing It Makes NyQuil Look Like a Rave 🎉😴.

Chord F. DiscordMay 19, 2025May 19, 2025

OMG! 😱 Sweden’s gloom merchants, KATATONIA, are BACK! And by “back,” I mean they’re releasing MORE music designed to make…

Live

**”Stairway to Heaven (of Incremental Features, Obvs)”**

Chuck B. BallsyMay 19, 2025

**Sonam Spitz, the enlightened guru of… screens? 🧘‍♀️ Join her online May 24-25, 2025, for 7-8 hours of pure bliss!…

TV “Review”: ‘Your Friends & Neighbors’ (Spoiler: You Probably Hate Them Already)
Breaking

TV “Review”: ‘Your Friends & Neighbors’ (Spoiler: You Probably Hate Them Already)

FinnMay 19, 2025May 19, 2025

Your Friends & Neighbors’ limps its way to a generous 6.5 out of 10 stars. 🙄 I mean, seriously? 6.5?…

Mike Shinoda Admits Metallica Gig Wasn’t *Completely* Soul-Crushing
Breaking

Mike Shinoda Admits Metallica Gig Wasn’t *Completely* Soul-Crushing

Chord F. DiscordMay 18, 2025May 18, 2025

So, DJ EFN and N.O.R.E., those titans of insightful celebrity interviews (aka “Drink Champs”, presented by Revolt), managed to snag…

Geriatric Rockers and Late Night Host Shill Out for Overpriced Coffee: A Tragedy in Four Lattes
Breaking

Geriatric Rockers and Late Night Host Shill Out for Overpriced Coffee: A Tragedy in Four Lattes

Chord F. DiscordMay 17, 2025May 17, 2025

LEGENDS OF CLASSIC ROCK, a supergroup so legendary it makes Spinal Tap look like a well-adjusted support group, graced the…

The Rasmus, bless their hearts, Unveil ‘Weirdo’ Album Deets & Drop Another Earworm ‘Break These Chains’ (Please Don’t)
Breaking

The Rasmus, bless their hearts, Unveil ‘Weirdo’ Album Deets & Drop Another Earworm ‘Break These Chains’ (Please Don’t)

Chord F. DiscordMay 16, 2025May 16, 2025

Okay, so apparently THE RASMUS, those guys who peaked in, like, 2003 with “In the Shadows” (still a banger, let’s…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 65 66 67 68 Next

Latest posts

  • Rip Current Interrupted By Unscheduled Act Of Heroism
  • Nevada Governor Declares Emergency Because Hawk Fire Refuses to Chill
  • THE ORACLE SPEAKS: DJT blasts Canada over tariffs and statehood demands
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Mark Levin claims blue states are sabotaging citizens nationwide
  • Karmelo Anthony Not Getting Do-Over In Murder Case

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.