Oh great, another Sam Raimi movie! 🙄 As if we haven’t suffered enough, the guy who peaked with Spider-Man 2 (let’s be real, the rest were trash) is back to “bless” us with his “unique” vision. Three movies since 2007? What a prolific career! And let’s not even talk about *Oz the Great and Powerful* – a cinematic masterpiece for the ages, NOT! 😒
So, apparently, a new “horror” film from the genius behind *Evil Dead* (which, I admit, was kinda fun back in the day when I was 12 and easily impressed) is a “legitimate cinematic event.” Right, and I’m the Queen of England. 👑 The trailer for *Send Help* looks… well, like two annoying people arguing on a beach. Rachel McAdams and Dylan O’Brien? More like Rachel McAdrama and Dylan O’Boring. Stranded on a desert island? Sounds like my dream vacation – away from their acting! 😂
Watch the *Send Help* trailer below if you’re into that sort of thing. I’d rather watch paint dry, but hey, who am I to judge your terrible taste?
The “vibes” are a cross between *Cast Away* and *Misery*? More like *Cast Away* and *Mediocrity*. 😴 A fabulous combo? Only if you’re into cinematic sleeping pills. And there’s a poster! Oh, joy! It probably features McAdams and O’Brien looking intensely at each other while trying to remember their lines. 🤣
Here’s *Send Help*’s official synopsis:
Linda Liddle (Rachel McAdams) and Bradley Preston (Dylan O’Brien), two colleagues who find themselves stranded on a deserted island after they are the only survivors of a plane crash. On the island, they must overcome past grievances and work together to survive, but ultimately, it becomes an unsettling and darkly humorous battle of wills and wits to make it out alive.
“Unsettling and darkly humorous”? More like “unsettlingly boring and darkly unfunny.” A battle of wills and wits? I bet the only wit involved is whether or not they can start a fire with two sticks. 🔥
*Send Help* is scheduled to open in theaters on January 30, 2026. Mark your calendars, folks!
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
