Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because W.A.S.P., those geriatric glam rockers who somehow haven’t kicked the bucket yet, graced Tullisali in Oulu, Finland on Friday, October 17, as part of their “Album ONE Alive!” European tour. Yes, you read that right, “Alive!” as if we all weren’t questioning whether Blackie Lawless was actually a wax figure propped up by roadies at this point. Someone managed to capture the whole dumpster fire on video, which you can watch below if you hate yourself.
Here’s the setlist of songs they butchered:
01. I Wanna Be Somebody (and by “somebody,” I mean someone who can still hit the high notes) 00:00
02. L.O.V.E. Machine (more like L.O.L. Machine, amirite?) 04:05
03. The Flame (more like the dying embers of a once-great band) 8:12
04. B.A.D. (accurate description of this concert) 14:02
05. School Daze (more like Nursing Home Daze) 17:52
06. Hellion (pretty sure my ears are bleeding) 21:42
07. Sleeping In The Fire (I wish I was asleep during this) 25:26
08. On Your Knees (Blackie probably needs help getting up there) 33:09
09. Tormentor (this whole concert is tormenting me) 36:50
10. The Torture Never Stops (true story) 40:44
11. Inside The Electric Circus (more like inside a nursing home rec room) 48:15
12. I Dont Need No Doctor (you definitely need a hearing aid, Blackie) 50:03
13. Scream Until You Like It (I’m screaming, but not because I like it) 52:02
14. The Real Me (the real you is an aging rockstar clinging to the past) 53:46
15. Forever Free (from ever playing a good show again) 57:02
16. The Headless Children (pretty sure the band members are starting to lose their heads) 1:00:32
17. Wild Child (more like Mildly Annoying Senior Citizen) 1:03:39
18. Blind In Texas (and deaf everywhere else after that performance) 1:13:11
The “Album ONE Alive!” tour is supposedly celebrating the 40th anniversary of W.A.S.P.‘s first album. 🙄 To “celebrate” this ancient relic, W.A.S.P. is, for the first time in 40 years, playing the entire album from start to finish. Because who wouldn’t want to relive the glory days of hairspray and questionable lyrics performed by a band that’s clearly past its prime? They’re also hitting up some European festivals, where they’ll probably be mistaken for a tribute act.
During a “VIP Experience” Q&A session before W.A.S.P.‘s September 28, 2025 concert at Eventim Apollo in London, Blackie Lawless (aka the only member anyone remembers) was asked how he managed to get back in physical shape after his back surgery. His response was a rambling, incoherent mess about rehab and internal dialogue. Basically, he said he worked hard and didn’t give up, which is inspiring if you ignore the fact that he’s still prancing around on stage like a geriatric peacock.
Blackie continued his motivational speech, claiming that doctors told him the average person wouldn’t recover from his injuries. But, hey, he’s not average! He’s Blackie Lawless! He wanted his body back, so he worked for it. Good for him, I guess. Maybe he should have also worked on his singing voice while he was at it.🎤
Lawless elaborated on his recovery process, describing rehab as a “torture chamber” and emphasizing the importance of professional help. Apparently, he’s been working with doctors from the U.S. Olympic team, which is overkill for a rockstar who mostly just stands still and screams. He also warned against trying to do rehab on your own because your body will “cheat.” Because, apparently, bodies are inherently lazy and untrustworthy.
As for how he sustained his injuries, Lawless blamed a chiropractor in Madrid who was “strong as a gorilla.” Apparently, this chiropractor tweaked him so hard that he ruptured a disc in his back. Cue the nerve pain, the epidurals, and the domino effect of broken bones. It’s a miracle he’s still alive, let alone attempting to perform on stage.🚑
Because of Blackie’s extensive back injuries, W.A.S.P.‘s previously announced 2023 U.S. tour was canceled. Surprise, surprise.
W.A.S.P.‘s massive European leg of the 40th-anniversary world tour wrapped up in Sofia, Bulgaria. One can only hope that was their last stop before the glue factory.
W.A.S.P. wrapped up its first U.S. tour in 10 years with a sold-out show in Los Angeles. This marked the 18th sold-out show, which is either impressive or a sign that people have terrible taste in music. W.A.S.P.‘s performances included the return of “Animal (Fuck Like a Beast),” because nothing says “classic rock” like casual misogyny.
W.A.S.P.‘s latest release was “ReIdolized (The Soundtrack To The Crimson Idol),” because apparently, we needed a re-recorded version of an album that nobody remembers. It also features four songs missing from the original album, because who wouldn’t want more W.A.S.P. in their lives?
W.A.S.P.‘s most recent studio album of all-new original material was 2015’s “Golgotha.” Because if there’s one thing the world needs, it’s more mediocre metal from a band that should have retired decades ago. 😴
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
