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Tag: Friends

Events

Marathoners x Run Champs: Who Actually Knows How to Run?

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 16, 2026

Join us for a 5K Community Run down the world-famous Venice Boardwalk. 🏁 The Marathon Run Club – 5K Community…

US and Europe ‘belong together,’ Rubio declares at Munich Security Conference — because who else is going to listen to his dad jokes?
Rubio Lectures Europeans on Their Place: 'You Belong to Us'
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

US and Europe ‘belong together,’ Rubio declares at Munich Security Conference — because who else is going to listen to his dad jokes?

Big ElephantFebruary 15, 2026February 15, 2026

Oh, look who’s back from Munich, giving Europeans a history lesson on how America “saved the world.” Secretary of State…

SLASH Says GUNS N’ ROSES ‘Has Never Been A Big Choreographed Thing’ Because Apparently Chaos Is Their Secret Rehearsal Plan
Breaking, Music News

SLASH Says GUNS N’ ROSES ‘Has Never Been A Big Choreographed Thing’ Because Apparently Chaos Is Their Secret Rehearsal Plan

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 15, 2026February 15, 2026

Well, look who decided to grace us with their presence again — it’s Slash, the human embodiment of “I woke…

Valentine’s Day Co-Op Games For Couples—Because Nothing Says ‘I Love You’ Like Arguing Over Who’s Holding the Controller
Breaking, Movie News

Valentine’s Day Co-Op Games For Couples—Because Nothing Says ‘I Love You’ Like Arguing Over Who’s Holding the Controller

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 14, 2026February 14, 2026

Valentine’s Day is coming up, and you’re panicking because you haven’t planned anything special for your significant other. Don’t worry,…

WWE Finally Breaks Kayfabe: Wrestlers Start Dropping Actual Policy Points in the Ring!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

WWE Finally Breaks Kayfabe: Wrestlers Start Dropping Actual Policy Points in the Ring!

Big ElephantFebruary 14, 2026February 14, 2026

Liberal Woke Wrestling Fans Attack Trump’s ICE While President Takes on the Deep State Big Bad Brody King and Maxwell…

Events

SILENT DISCO @ DRAKE’S THE BARN: BECAUSE SHOUTING “TURN IT DOWN” IS SO 2023

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 14, 2026

Sacramento’s SILENT DISCO at Drake’s The Barn: 3 music channels by H.E.R.E., ALORE, & Twelves Wax. FREE entry w/ RSVP!…

Events

LET IT HAPPEN (TAME IMPALA DANCE PARTY) – BECAUSE REALITY CAN WAIT

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 13, 2026

🎉 Get ready to trip the night away at Drom NYC this Friday! 🎉 Who needs reality when you’ve got…

Events

OUTLAWS & LEGENDS MUSIC FESTIVAL ~ 15th ANNIVERSARY (WHERE LEGENDS OUTLAW THE OUTLAWS)

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 13, 2026

The Biggest 1-Stage Event in Texas returns to the Back Porch of Texas for its 15th Outlaws & Legends Music…

Events

Lovers and Friends Concert: Where Couples Reunite and Singles Cry in Their Beer

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 12, 2026

Attention all lovebirds and R&B enthusiasts! The Lovers & Friends Concert Tour is coming to town and it’s time to…

RAID: Shadow Legends Guide Everything New —Players Must Know Before They Waste Another $5,000 in 2026
Starting RAID: Shadow Legends in 2026? Brace Yourself for the "Beginner's Gauntlet"
Breaking, Games News

RAID: Shadow Legends Guide Everything New —Players Must Know Before They Waste Another $5,000 in 2026

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 11, 2026February 11, 2026

Alright, fresh meat, welcome to RAID: Shadow Legends—the game that somehow convinced millions of people to spend hours micromanaging digital…

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Latest posts

  • ORANGE ORACLE UNLEASHES FENTANYL GATE EXPOSE, UNCOVERS 1M DEADLY PILLS UNLEASHED ON AMERICA
  • SKILLET To Finally Release Something New Because You’ve All Been Clamoring For More Of The Same Old Stuff In July; ‘Comatose: 20 Years, Still Screaming Tour’ To Launch This Fall Because They Still Can’t Sell Out A Decent Venue
  • Trump vows to punish scum who trashed our great nation’s pool
  • Steam Machine Pricing and Reservations Are Finally Here Because You Clearly Haven’t Spent Enough Money on Overpriced PC Hardware Already
  • Get Ready for Some Pretentious Discussions About Magnifica Humanitas That Will Change Your Life Forever Possibly Maybe

Editorial
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Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
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Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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