Popeyes Announces ‘Five Nights at Freddy’s 2’ Menu: Prepare to Get Spooked (and Probably Diarrhea)
Okay, so listen up, buttercups 💅. The *Five Nights at Freddy’s* franchise, that cinematic masterpiece of jump scares and animatronic…
Tag: Garbage
Chris Barnes Throws Shade, Says New SIX FEET UNDER Album Won’t Suck (Probably)
Breaking News! 🚨 Chris Barnes, the vocal powerhouse behind SIX FEET UNDER, has graced us with an update on their…
MTV UK Channels Going Bye-Bye: Because Who Even Watches TV Anymore
Oh, the horror! MTV, that bastion of leftist indoctrination, is closing five whole channels in the UK! Could it be…
Shinedown Dumps New Single ‘Searchlight’ Like We Asked For It
SHINEDOWN, those purveyors of sonic wallpaper, have graced us with a new ditty, “Searchlight”, via their overlords at Atlantic Records.…
From Prison Cell to City Hall: NOLA’s Newest Clerk Just Knows How to Keep Records, Okay
Folks, you won’t believe the swampy depths to which New Orleans has sunk! A convicted murderer, yes, a real-life criminal,…
BUTCHER BABIES: Still Alive, Still Making Music, Apparently It’s ‘Personal’
OH. MY. GOD. 😱 Prepare yourselves, peasants! BUTCHER BABIES, those titans of… something… are gracing us with new music in…
PBS: Still Alive (Barely) After Trump’s Savage Budget Cuts, Premieres Another Ken Burns Snorefest
Oh, the drama! The liberal media elite at PBS are at it again, whining about President Trump’s wise decision to…
Re-Animator Gets the 4K Treatment Because Apparently One Corpse Party Wasn’t Enough
Oh, sweet zombie Jesus, ANOTHER Re-Animator release? 🙄 Didn’t we all suffer enough back in the ’80s? But noooo, Second…
Trump’s Epstein Palava: A Political Disasterclass
Another Day, Another Deep State Hoax! The Liberal Media (aka CNN) is at it again, desperately trying to smear our…
CNN: Trump Drags Himself Further Into the Epstein Cesspool, It’s Like Watching a Trainwreck in Slow Motion
Here we go again, folks! The liberal media, spearheaded by CNN (Clinton News Network), is desperately trying to smear our…