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Tag: Gavin Newsom

Trump’s New Fundraising Email: Features Soldiers’ Dignified Transfer Photo, Promises ‘Private National Security Briefings’ for VIPs
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s New Fundraising Email: Features Soldiers’ Dignified Transfer Photo, Promises ‘Private National Security Briefings’ for VIPs

Big ElephantMarch 26, 2026March 26, 2026

Patriots, Rejoice! Trump’s ‘National Security Briefings’ Offer the Truth Democrats Want to Hide! President Donald J. Trump, the Commander-in-Chief who…

Disney’s Transformation: From Magic Kingdom to Gas Price Tracking? Chavez’s Ghost Weighs In
Trump's America: Where Chaos Reigns and the Patriots Thrive👋
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Disney’s Transformation: From Magic Kingdom to Gas Price Tracking? Chavez’s Ghost Weighs In

Big ElephantMarch 18, 2026March 18, 2026

Welcome to 5 Things PM, where we celebrate the glorious reign of our Supreme Leader, Donald J. Trump! While the…

Oscars Add More Guards Because FBI Thinks Terrorists Want Red Carpet Selfies Too
The Oscars Are Doubling Down on Security Because Apparently Iran Wants to Drone-Bomb Hollywood's Biggest Night
Breaking, Movie News

Oscars Add More Guards Because FBI Thinks Terrorists Want Red Carpet Selfies Too

FinnMarch 12, 2026March 12, 2026

Well, well, well, look who’s decided to go full Fort Knox for a night of self-congratulatory back-patting! The 98th Academy…

Gavin Newsom Confidently Declares California Safe from Iranian Drones, FBI Memo Be Damned
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Gavin Newsom Confidently Declares California Safe from Iranian Drones, FBI Memo Be Damned

Big ElephantMarch 12, 2026March 12, 2026

Oh look, Gavin Newsom’s in a panic over some unverified Iranian drone threats—how convenient for the Golden State’s drama queen…

5 Things to Know for March 3: Iran’s Next Big Thing, Protests Everywhere, Primaries Madness, Clinton’s Legal Drama, and Nancy Guthrie’s Surprise Comeback
War With Iran Heats Up as Trump Unleashes "Big Wave" of US Action
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

5 Things to Know for March 3: Iran’s Next Big Thing, Protests Everywhere, Primaries Madness, Clinton’s Legal Drama, and Nancy Guthrie’s Surprise Comeback

Big ElephantMarch 3, 2026March 3, 2026

The Middle East is burning as Israel and the US pound Iranian targets while Iran strikes back at US allies.…

Gavin Newsom Reveals His Secret Sauce for Being the Best Governor Ever (According to Him) in Part 2 of Dana Bash’s Interview | CNN Politics
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Gavin Newsom Reveals His Secret Sauce for Being the Best Governor Ever (According to Him) in Part 2 of Dana Bash’s Interview | CNN Politics

Big ElephantFebruary 22, 2026February 22, 2026

Governor Newsom Confesses to Lifelong Battle with Dyslexia—Is He Trying to Distract from His Failed Leadership? In a shocking interview…

Trump shares ape-tastic video of Obamas, causing internet to collectively facepalm
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump shares ape-tastic video of Obamas, causing internet to collectively facepalm

Big ElephantFebruary 6, 2026February 6, 2026

Breaking News: Trump’s Lion King Meme Sparks Global Hysteria Among Snowflake Democrats! In yet another stunning display of internet comedy…

Trump Again Cries Wolf Over Walmart’s Imaginary 250-Store Apocalypse in California
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Again Cries Wolf Over Walmart’s Imaginary 250-Store Apocalypse in California

Big ElephantJanuary 29, 2026January 29, 2026

Oh look, Sleepy Joe must have snuck his old Twitter account back just to spread more fake news about our…

Newsom Trolls Trump in Davos, So the President Hit Back With the Maturity of a 12-Year-Old on Xbox Live
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Newsom Trolls Trump in Davos, So the President Hit Back With the Maturity of a 12-Year-Old on Xbox Live

Big ElephantJanuary 21, 2026January 21, 2026

GLOBALIST DAVOS ELITES SEETHING AS PRESIDENT TRUMP AMERICAS FIRST ALPHA MALE DOMINATES WORLD STAGE The World Economic Forum in Davos,…

California Declares State of Emergency Because Apparently Rain Is Still a Thing
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

California Declares State of Emergency Because Apparently Rain Is Still a Thing

Big ElephantDecember 26, 2025December 26, 2025

California declares state of emergency after “devastating storms” – because only liberal states need government assistance for weather they’ve had…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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