Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Gene

GENE HOGLAN Trash Talks Own Opinion On CHUCK SCHULDINER Doc
Breaking, Music News

GENE HOGLAN Trash Talks Own Opinion On CHUCK SCHULDINER Doc

Chord F. DiscordJuly 12, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some juicy drama? 🤯 Because Gene Hoglan, the legendary drummer from DEATH, just…

KISS Dynasties Unite Because You Clearly Needed More Simmons In Your Life
Breaking, Music News

KISS Dynasties Unite Because You Clearly Needed More Simmons In Your Life

Chord F. DiscordJuly 4, 2026July 4, 2026

I just spilled my beer all over my black jeans because I’m so excited to share this earth-shattering news with…

Netflix Recycles Gene Wilder’s Voice Because Originality is Overrated Apparently
Netflix's Latest Venture: A Wonka-themed Competition Series, Because What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
Breaking, Movie News

Netflix Recycles Gene Wilder’s Voice Because Originality is Overrated Apparently

FinnJuly 3, 2026July 3, 2026

We’re not sure if this is exactly what Willy Wonka had in mind when he sang about a world of…

Oh great now ships are sneaking through Hormuz
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Oh great now ships are sneaking through Hormuz

Big ElephantJune 26, 2026

Folks, I just about spit out my coffee reading about the latest developments in the Strait of Hormuz. It seems…

DETHKLOK’s Concert In Milwaukee Cut Short Because Who Needs That Much Eyeliner Anyway And Also The Fire Alarms Went Off From All The Pretentiousness
Breaking, Music News

DETHKLOK’s Concert In Milwaukee Cut Short Because Who Needs That Much Eyeliner Anyway And Also The Fire Alarms Went Off From All The Pretentiousness

Chord F. DiscordMay 17, 2026May 17, 2026

Oh boy, what a night it was! 🤣 The infamous DETHKLOK concert on Saturday, May 16 at Landmark Credit Union…

‘Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory’ Is a Secret Massacre Movie That Will Make You Question Your Childhood
Why Willy Wonka Is Secretly a Slasher Movie
Breaking, Movie News

‘Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory’ Is a Secret Massacre Movie That Will Make You Question Your Childhood

FinnMarch 12, 2026March 12, 2026

If I wanted to torture my brother when we were kids, I only needed to say two words: “Blueberry Girl.”…

The Definitive (And Only) Ranking of Sam Raimi’s Most Bonkers Creations Because Your Opinion is Wrong Forever
Breaking, Movie News

The Definitive (And Only) Ranking of Sam Raimi’s Most Bonkers Creations Because Your Opinion is Wrong Forever

FinnJanuary 26, 2026January 26, 2026

Sam Raimi directs movies with the urgency of a sloth meditating 🐢. In the past 15 years, he’s blessed us…

JAY JAY FRENCH Warns Fans That TWISTED SISTER’s 2026 Reunion Tour Will Be Just as Predictable as Your Dad’s Jokes
Breaking, Music News

JAY JAY FRENCH Warns Fans That TWISTED SISTER’s 2026 Reunion Tour Will Be Just as Predictable as Your Dad’s Jokes

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 7, 2026January 7, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: The “Farewell” Tour That Refuses to Die — TWISTED SISTER Announces 50th Anniversary Reunion Because Retirement Was Clearly…

KISS Legend PETER CRISS Sells Autographs Like a Used Car Salesman at NYC’s Hipster Petting Zoo
Breaking, Games News

KISS Legend PETER CRISS Sells Autographs Like a Used Car Salesman at NYC’s Hipster Petting Zoo

Chord F. DiscordDecember 20, 2025December 20, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Peter Criss Releases New Album, Proves That Time Is Just A Social Construct For Rock Gods 🚨 In…

Live

Sibling Sexual Behavior: When Twins Decide to Break the Gene Pool Record

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 15, 2025

**About this event** The CSA Centre proudly presents *“Sibling Secrets: When Your Brother is Your Biggest Fan (in the Wrong…

Posts pagination

1 2 … 4 Next

Latest posts

  • Inflation Sticks Around Like Your In-Laws
  • Frank Ferrer Leaves Guns N Roses Because Even He Got Bored
  • Graham’s Departure Sparks Thrilling Game of Musical Chairs in Washington
  • JAY-Z’s Yankee Stadium Gig Delayed Due to Security Issue
  • Tom Morello Mourns Loss of His Mother Mary Morello

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}