Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: guitar

Gene Simmons still won’t leave the stage because your grandma needs to see him one more time
Breaking, Music News

Gene Simmons still won’t leave the stage because your grandma needs to see him one more time

Chord F. DiscordAugust 23, 2026August 23, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, Gene Simmons, the legendary bassist and vocalist of KISS, has announced that he will…

Sweet Guitarist Tired Of Being Yelled At By Old Dude Andy Scott
Breaking, Music News

Sweet Guitarist Tired Of Being Yelled At By Old Dude Andy Scott

Chord F. DiscordAugust 23, 2026August 23, 2026

I just spilled my beer all over my desk because I couldn’t believe what I was reading. THE SWEET, the…

FEAR FACTORY somehow still exists and now has a new singer
Breaking, Music News

FEAR FACTORY somehow still exists and now has a new singer

Chord F. DiscordAugust 22, 2026August 22, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some mechanically-enhanced metal? 🤖 FEAR FACTORY is back with a new single, “Roboticist”,…

Richie Kotzen drops new song because you clearly needed more of his guitar playing in your life
Breaking, Music News

Richie Kotzen drops new song because you clearly needed more of his guitar playing in your life

Chord F. DiscordAugust 21, 2026August 21, 2026

I just got word that Richie Kotzen, the guitar wizard, has dropped a new solo track called “Ivory Queen”, and…

Nita Strauss Paid To Wear Football Jersey On Stage Again
Breaking, Music News

Nita Strauss Paid To Wear Football Jersey On Stage Again

Chord F. DiscordAugust 21, 2026August 21, 2026

Oh boy, are you ready for some face-melting guitar riffs and football?! 🤯 Nita Strauss is back to shred at…

Ricky Warwick somehow still employed despite releasing more solo music
Breaking, Music News

Ricky Warwick somehow still employed despite releasing more solo music

Chord F. DiscordAugust 19, 2026August 20, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some news that will change your life forever? 🤯 I mean, it’s not…

Gods Of Metal Still Trying To Kill Each Other On Stage Apparently One Assassination Under God Part 2
Breaking, Music News

Gods Of Metal Still Trying To Kill Each Other On Stage Apparently One Assassination Under God Part 2

Chord F. DiscordAugust 18, 2026August 18, 2026

OH BOY, MARILYN MANSON IS BACK WITH ANOTHER ALBUM AND I’M JUST SO EXCITED 🤩… said no one ever. I…

RIKKI ROCKETT still playing same old songs because bills dont pay themselves
Breaking, Music News

RIKKI ROCKETT still playing same old songs because bills dont pay themselves

Chord F. DiscordAugust 17, 2026August 17, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some totally-not-desperate attempts to cling to the past? 🙄 Because I’ve got some…

Warrel Dane spinning in grave as Nevermore replaces him with some dude named Berzan Onen
Breaking, Music News

Warrel Dane spinning in grave as Nevermore replaces him with some dude named Berzan Onen

Chord F. DiscordAugust 17, 2026August 17, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some Nevermore news? I mean, I’m not sure if I am, but here…

Wednesday 13 teams up with John 5 because his solo career was going so well
Breaking, Music News

Wednesday 13 teams up with John 5 because his solo career was going so well

Chord F. DiscordAugust 16, 2026August 16, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some epic news? 🤯 I just got word that Wednesday 13 is teaming…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 2 3 … 8 Next

Latest posts

  • THE ORACLE SPEAKS Donald Trump posts on Truth Social August 29 2026
  • El-Sayed Sorry for Synagogue Statement Mishap
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Trump declares victory in Iran war efforts so far
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social August 29 2026
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social August 29 2026

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.