Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Handheld

Sarah Bond Thinks New Xbox Will Cost More Than Your Car
Breaking

Sarah Bond Thinks New Xbox Will Cost More Than Your Car

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 22, 2025October 22, 2025

Alright, gamers, gather ’round and let’s talk about the *totally* not-dying Xbox. 🤣 Apparently, despite rumours of it being yeeted…

Xbox Big Boss Man Nukes Next-Gen Console Hype Train, Gamers Weep
Breaking, Games News

Xbox Big Boss Man Nukes Next-Gen Console Hype Train, Gamers Weep

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 20, 2025October 20, 2025

Oh honey, bless your heart, did you REALLY think Xbox was gonna ditch the console game? 🤣 Sarah Bond, the…

Anno 117: Pax Romana: Juggling Romans While Rome Burns: A Preview for Aspiring Emperors (and Disaster Tourists)
Breaking, Games News

Anno 117: Pax Romana: Juggling Romans While Rome Burns: A Preview for Aspiring Emperors (and Disaster Tourists)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

Okay, so I’ve played Anno 117: Pax Romana again, and guess what? I’m still trash at it. I thought I…

ROG Xbox Ally & ROG Xbox Ally X: Prepare to Empty Your Wallets, Simps
Breaking, Games News

ROG Xbox Ally & ROG Xbox Ally X: Prepare to Empty Your Wallets, Simps

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 26, 2025September 26, 2025

Oh, great, another overpriced gadget from ASUS Republic of Gamers! 🙄 They’ve graced us with the pricing for the ROG…

Helldivers 2: Still Buggy, But Now With MORE Bugs and Planets to Liberate (or Die Trying)
Breaking, Games News

Helldivers 2: Still Buggy, But Now With MORE Bugs and Planets to Liberate (or Die Trying)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

Helldivers 2, now with added Xbox exclusivity (because PC players are *obviously* superior 🙄), has graced us with the “Into…

ROG Xbox Ally and ROG Xbox Ally X Finally Crawling Out of the Void at Gamescom 2025
Breaking, Games News

ROG Xbox Ally and ROG Xbox Ally X Finally Crawling Out of the Void at Gamescom 2025

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 20, 2025August 20, 2025

Oh, Gamescom 2025, you tease! 🙄 ASUS, in their infinite wisdom (or maybe just because they felt like it), decided…

Frostpunk 2: Now on Consoles, So Your Couch Can Judge Your Terrible City Planning This September
Breaking, Games News

Frostpunk 2: Now on Consoles, So Your Couch Can Judge Your Terrible City Planning This September

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 25, 2025July 25, 2025

So, the perpetually freezing faction simulator, Frostpunk 2, is FINALLY crawling its way to consoles. Prepare to warm your thumbs…

Lisa Su Just Tweeted This Xbox Thing, So Gaming is Saved, Obvi
Breaking, Games News

Lisa Su Just Tweeted This Xbox Thing, So Gaming is Saved, Obvi

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 19, 2025June 19, 2025

OMG! 😱 Xbox Teams Up with AMD: Is This the End of Gaming as We Know It? 🤣 Prepare for…

Portability vs Power: So You Wanna Be a Streaming Superstar, Huh?
Breaking, Games News

Portability vs Power: So You Wanna Be a Streaming Superstar, Huh?

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Alright, listen up, future e-celebs! 🤪 Forget everything you thought you knew about streaming because I’m about to drop some…

Grounded 2: We Swear It’s Not Just a Patch, Guys
Breaking, Games News

Grounded 2: We Swear It’s Not Just a Patch, Guys

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 8, 2025June 8, 2025

Okay, gamers, gather ’round and let Uncle Troll tell you a bedtime story. Once upon a time, at the oh-so-important…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 2 3

Latest posts

  • Lady Gaga Welcomes Her First Baby
  • Trump Shares Calming Riot Video on 9/11 Anniversary
  • Lil Durk Cleared in Murder for Hire Trial Verdict
  • Spin of the Day: Vouchers Promise Students With Disabilities a Path to Private School. Parents Say That’s Not the Reality. — 8% Mostly Reality
  • Justice finally catches up with someone in Mississippi presumably

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.