Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: hard rock

Keanu Reeves’s band DOGSTAR (lol) Announces Spring/Summer 2026 European Tour (get your earplugs ready)
Breaking, Music News

Keanu Reeves’s band DOGSTAR (lol) Announces Spring/Summer 2026 European Tour (get your earplugs ready)

Chord F. DiscordDecember 2, 2025December 2, 2025

So, Keanu Reeves, bless his heart, decided that saving the world as John Wick wasn’t enough. Now he’s back with…

Atreyu’s Brandon Saller: “We’re Not Political, We Just Accidentally Wrote Songs That Sound Political, Whoops”
Breaking, Music News

Atreyu’s Brandon Saller: “We’re Not Political, We Just Accidentally Wrote Songs That Sound Political, Whoops”

Chord F. DiscordNovember 29, 2025November 29, 2025

So, Ore Bihovsky from TotalRock’s “Louder” show decided to grace ATREYU vocalist Brandon Saller with a question of utmost importance:…

The GEMS Declare ‘Year Of The Snake’ – Prepare for Hiss-terical Melodies
Breaking, Music News

The GEMS Declare ‘Year Of The Snake’ – Prepare for Hiss-terical Melodies

Chord F. DiscordNovember 26, 2025November 26, 2025

THE GEMS, the Swedish “hard rock” band featuring former THUNDERMOTHER (more like THUNDER-BORING, amirite?) members Guernica Mancini (vocals – allegedly),…

GUNS N’ ROSES Announces 2026 World Tour; Two New Songs To Arrive In Early December (Maybe, If Axl Remembers)
Live, Music News

GUNS N’ ROSES Announces 2026 World Tour; Two New Songs To Arrive In Early December (Maybe, If Axl Remembers)

Chord F. DiscordNovember 24, 2025November 24, 2025

OMG! 😱 Did anyone REALLY ask for this? GUNS N’ ROSES, those geriatric rockers, are apparently still touring in 2026.…

RAVEN Does METALLICA’s ‘Metal Militia’ – Prepare for Pigeon Mayhem from ‘Tribute to Kill ‘Em All (Again?)’
Breaking, Music News

RAVEN Does METALLICA’s ‘Metal Militia’ – Prepare for Pigeon Mayhem from ‘Tribute to Kill ‘Em All (Again?)’

Chord F. DiscordNovember 12, 2025November 12, 2025

Silver Lining Music, apparently unaware of the sheer audacity of their actions, will be unleashing “No Life ‘Til Leather –…

Rikki Rockett’s “Rockett Mafia” (Yeah, We Don’t Know Either) Lands at Pavement Entertainment
Breaking, Music News

Rikki Rockett’s “Rockett Mafia” (Yeah, We Don’t Know Either) Lands at Pavement Entertainment

Chord F. DiscordNovember 7, 2025November 7, 2025

Pavement Entertainment, known for its exquisite taste in… uh… “music,” has proudly announced the signing of THE ROCKETT MAFIA. Yes,…

AEROSMITH, YUNGBLUD, and STEVE MARTIN Team Up For ‘My Only Angel’ Remake – Prepare to be Confused
Breaking, Music News

AEROSMITH, YUNGBLUD, and STEVE MARTIN Team Up For ‘My Only Angel’ Remake – Prepare to be Confused

Chord F. DiscordOctober 24, 2025October 24, 2025

So, like, AEROSMITH, those dudes who haven’t been relevant since your grandpa’s dentures were shiny and new, and Yungblud, who…

The Devil Wears Prada Drops New Song ‘Everybody Knows’ From ‘Flowers’ Album (Yeah, We Know, So Original)
Breaking, Music News

The Devil Wears Prada Drops New Song ‘Everybody Knows’ From ‘Flowers’ Album (Yeah, We Know, So Original)

Chord F. DiscordOctober 23, 2025October 23, 2025

THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA – The same band you vaguely remember from 2006 Myspace – Mike Hranica (screaming), Jeremy DePoyster…

Rush Still Kicking and Screaming in Your Hometown: The ‘Barely Got My AARP Card’ Tour
Live, Music News

Rush Still Kicking and Screaming in Your Hometown: The ‘Barely Got My AARP Card’ Tour

Chord F. DiscordOctober 20, 2025October 20, 2025

So, Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame inductees (whatever that even means anymore), Grammy Award-nominated (for participation trophies, I assume),…

Guitar God JOHN NORUM, Still Alive, Still Signs Deal For Tenth Album No One Asked For
Breaking, Music News

Guitar God JOHN NORUM, Still Alive, Still Signs Deal For Tenth Album No One Asked For

Chord F. DiscordOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

🎸OMG! John Norum, the dude who shreds in EUROPE (you know, that band your mom likes), has signed with Frontiers…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 13 14 15 … 21 Next

Latest posts

  • Karmelo Anthony Not Getting Do-Over In Murder Case
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social August 22 2026
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social August 22 2026
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social August 22 2026
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald posts on Truth Social from August 22 2026

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.