Scientists Confirm Every Band Thinks Their New Album Is Their Heaviest Yet
JACKAL RESEARCH DIVISION REPORT #005 After reviewing more than 53,000 interviews with musicians spanning five decades, the Jackal Research Division…
Tag: heavy metal
Why Every Band Announces A Farewell Tour And Never Leaves
JACKAL RESEARCH DIVISION REPORT #001 Scientists Confirm Retirement In Rock Music Is Merely A Suggestion After decades of painstaking research,…
Why Earn It When You Can Crowdfund It? The New Meta for Metal Festival Survival 💀
While you’re rotting away in your cubicle, dreaming of a cold beer and a single weekend without a Slack notification…
Ozzy Osbourne Finally On Time — By Dying
LOS ANGELES (or maybe just Hell’s waiting room) — Ozzy Osbourne, legendary frontman, slurred speech pioneer, and the man who…
Nickelback Played at Office, YouTube Instantly Nukes Nuclear Blast Channel
The metal world just took a devastating blow straight to its face-piercing. Legendary heavy label Nuclear Blast Records — known…
Bruce Dickinson 👴🏻 Still at it? 🎤🎸 18 Songs of flight ✈️ (delayed ‘Til 2026 🗓️, Obviously 🙄).
So, Bruce Dickinson, AKA the air raid siren from IRON MAIDEN (the band your dad probably listens to), decided to…
Witness the Metalpocalypse: Exodus and Death Angel’s Singer Butcher a Scorpions Tune in Anaheim 🤘😂🎸🎤🔥
🤣OMG! Did anyone actually SEE this?! DEATH ANGEL’s resident screamer, Mark Osegueda, apparently thought it was a good idea to…
Ex-Megadeth bassist boasts he’s so rich he can finally afford to listen to Megadeth on *premium* streaming 🤑😂🎸.
OMG, you guys! 🙄 David Ellefson, the guy who used to slap the bass for MEGADETH (before, you know, *that*…
🎸🦇 Animal Rights Activists Rage as Ozzy Osbourne Plans to Devour Bats On Stage! 🔥🐾
BIRMINGHAM, UK — A legendary concert or an absolute madhouse? The original lineup of Black Sabbath — Ozzy Osbourne, Tony…
🧨🎷 From Masks to Money Grabs: Slipknot’s ‘Look Outside Your Window’ Album is All About Cash
In the wild world of heavy metal and clown-faced chaos, Slipknot has always been known for their hardcore music, insane…