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Tag: heavy metal

Vio-Lence Finally Played Russia, Then Seemed Embarrassed Anyone Found Out
Music News

Vio-Lence Finally Played Russia, Then Seemed Embarrassed Anyone Found Out

FinnAugust 28, 2026August 28, 2026

American thrash metal veterans Vio-Lence finally made their Russian debut in August 2026, nearly four decades after Eternal Nightmare —…

Ill Niño Suddenly Discovered Morals. Right After Europe Threatened Their Booking Calendar
Breaking, Music News

Ill Niño Suddenly Discovered Morals. Right After Europe Threatened Their Booking Calendar

FinnJuly 21, 2026

If you ever needed proof that principles are negotiable until European festival promoters get involved, Ill Niño just delivered another…

Scientists Confirm Every Band Thinks Their New Album Is Their Heaviest Yet
Jackal Research Division Confirms Every Band Has Released Its Heaviest Album Yet
Jackal Research Division

Scientists Confirm Every Band Thinks Their New Album Is Their Heaviest Yet

Milton TruthwellJune 30, 2026June 30, 2026

JACKAL RESEARCH DIVISION REPORT #005 After reviewing more than 53,000 interviews with musicians spanning five decades, the Jackal Research Division…

Why Every Band Announces A Farewell Tour And Never Leaves
Jackal Research Division

Why Every Band Announces A Farewell Tour And Never Leaves

Milton TruthwellJune 23, 2026June 23, 2026

JACKAL RESEARCH DIVISION REPORT #001 Scientists Confirm Retirement In Rock Music Is Merely A Suggestion After decades of painstaking research,…

Why Earn It When You Can Crowdfund It? The New Meta for Metal Festival Survival 💀
Death, Taxes, and Death Metal: Andrey Pershin is Crowdfunding Rent While He’s in the Mosh Pit 🤘
Breaking, Music News

Why Earn It When You Can Crowdfund It? The New Meta for Metal Festival Survival 💀

FinnApril 15, 2026April 15, 2026

While you’re rotting away in your cubicle, dreaming of a cold beer and a single weekend without a Slack notification…

Ozzy Osbourne Finally On Time — By Dying
Man Who Survived Everything Except Gravity: Ozzy Embarks on Final Tour — No Returns This Time
Music News

Ozzy Osbourne Finally On Time — By Dying

FinnJuly 22, 2025July 22, 2025

LOS ANGELES (or maybe just Hell’s waiting room) — Ozzy Osbourne, legendary frontman, slurred speech pioneer, and the man who…

Nickelback Played at Office, YouTube Instantly Nukes Nuclear Blast Channel
Nickelback Destroys Metal Empire: YouTube Nukes Nuclear Blast Records Channel After Janitor’s Fatal Music Choice
Music News

Nickelback Played at Office, YouTube Instantly Nukes Nuclear Blast Channel

Chord F. DiscordJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

The metal world just took a devastating blow straight to its face-piercing. Legendary heavy label Nuclear Blast Records — known…

Bruce Dickinson 👴🏻 Still at it? 🎤🎸 18 Songs of flight ✈️ (delayed ‘Til 2026 🗓️, Obviously 🙄).
Breaking

Bruce Dickinson 👴🏻 Still at it? 🎤🎸 18 Songs of flight ✈️ (delayed ‘Til 2026 🗓️, Obviously 🙄).

Chord F. DiscordApril 30, 2025April 30, 2025

So, Bruce Dickinson, AKA the air raid siren from IRON MAIDEN (the band your dad probably listens to), decided to…

Witness the Metalpocalypse: Exodus and Death Angel’s Singer Butcher a Scorpions Tune in Anaheim 🤘😂🎸🎤🔥
Breaking

Witness the Metalpocalypse: Exodus and Death Angel’s Singer Butcher a Scorpions Tune in Anaheim 🤘😂🎸🎤🔥

Chord F. DiscordApril 28, 2025April 28, 2025

🤣OMG! Did anyone actually SEE this?! DEATH ANGEL’s resident screamer, Mark Osegueda, apparently thought it was a good idea to…

Ex-Megadeth bassist boasts he’s so rich he can finally afford to listen to Megadeth on *premium* streaming 🤑😂🎸.
Breaking

Ex-Megadeth bassist boasts he’s so rich he can finally afford to listen to Megadeth on *premium* streaming 🤑😂🎸.

Chord F. DiscordApril 26, 2025April 26, 2025

OMG, you guys! 🙄 David Ellefson, the guy who used to slap the bass for MEGADETH (before, you know, *that*…

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