Ill Niño Suddenly Discovered Morals. Right After Europe Threatened Their Booking Calendar
If you ever needed proof that principles are negotiable until European festival promoters get involved, Ill Niño just delivered another…
Tag: heavy metal
Scientists Confirm Every Band Thinks Their New Album Is Their Heaviest Yet
JACKAL RESEARCH DIVISION REPORT #005 After reviewing more than 53,000 interviews with musicians spanning five decades, the Jackal Research Division…
Why Every Band Announces A Farewell Tour And Never Leaves
JACKAL RESEARCH DIVISION REPORT #001 Scientists Confirm Retirement In Rock Music Is Merely A Suggestion After decades of painstaking research,…
Why Earn It When You Can Crowdfund It? The New Meta for Metal Festival Survival 💀
While you’re rotting away in your cubicle, dreaming of a cold beer and a single weekend without a Slack notification…
Ozzy Osbourne Finally On Time — By Dying
LOS ANGELES (or maybe just Hell’s waiting room) — Ozzy Osbourne, legendary frontman, slurred speech pioneer, and the man who…
Nickelback Played at Office, YouTube Instantly Nukes Nuclear Blast Channel
The metal world just took a devastating blow straight to its face-piercing. Legendary heavy label Nuclear Blast Records — known…
Bruce Dickinson 👴🏻 Still at it? 🎤🎸 18 Songs of flight ✈️ (delayed ‘Til 2026 🗓️, Obviously 🙄).
So, Bruce Dickinson, AKA the air raid siren from IRON MAIDEN (the band your dad probably listens to), decided to…
Witness the Metalpocalypse: Exodus and Death Angel’s Singer Butcher a Scorpions Tune in Anaheim 🤘😂🎸🎤🔥
🤣OMG! Did anyone actually SEE this?! DEATH ANGEL’s resident screamer, Mark Osegueda, apparently thought it was a good idea to…
Ex-Megadeth bassist boasts he’s so rich he can finally afford to listen to Megadeth on *premium* streaming 🤑😂🎸.
OMG, you guys! 🙄 David Ellefson, the guy who used to slap the bass for MEGADETH (before, you know, *that*…
🎸🦇 Animal Rights Activists Rage as Ozzy Osbourne Plans to Devour Bats On Stage! 🔥🐾
BIRMINGHAM, UK — A legendary concert or an absolute madhouse? The original lineup of Black Sabbath — Ozzy Osbourne, Tony…