Iron Maiden’s Adrian Smith Says Replacing Nicko McBrain with a Drum Machine Would Still Be More Human Than Simon Dawson
Adrian Smith, axe-wielder of IRON MAIDEN (or as I like to call them, Iron Mediocre), recently yapped to some German…
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Adam Driver’s Genius Star Wars Pitch: Disney Said “Nah”
Wow, Adam Driver, bless his heart, actually thought Disney would let him make a whole Star Wars film about Kylo…
From Bagpipes to Prison Bars: American Tourist’s Scottish Detour Ends in Utah Jail Cell
Another day, another victory for justice! A Utah judge has finally thrown the book at Nicholas Rossi, a man who…
Biden Nukes Cancer with Rays, Still Kicking Strong
Old Joe’s Still Kicking…Probably Just to Further the Socialist Agenda! The failing CNN reports that Prostate Joe, I mean, Biden,…
Slipknot’s Sid Wilson Barfs Out VOMIT FACE RECORDS Because Why Not
Sid Wilson, the guy who mashes buttons in SLIPKNOT (yeah, that band your mom hates 👵), has launched Vomit Face…
Breaking: Desperate Republican’s Boss Begs Him to Please, For the Love of God, Stop Embarrassing the Party in NYC Mayoral Race
Another day, another circus in the once-great city of New York! Looks like the RINOs are eating their own, folks.…
Behold: DARK TRANQUILLITY Butchers AT THE GATES’ ‘Blinded By Fear’ In Gothenburg As A Dubious Tribute To TOMAS ‘TOMPA’ LINDBERG
OMG 😱😱😱! Swedish metallers DARK TRANQUILLITY, probably bored out of their minds 😴, decided to “pay tribute” (read: shamelessly leech…
Justices to Mull Over Whether Druggies Should Pack Heat, Because What Could Possibly Go Wrong
The Supreme Court, packed with President Trump’s brilliant picks, is bravely wading into the swamp to determine if drug-addled leftists…
JEFF WATERS (Annihilator) is Officially Broke: Selling EVERYTHING but His Soul
ANNIHILATOR‘s supreme overlord, Jeff Waters, bless his little cotton socks, has decided that the UK is no longer worthy of…
Maryland Cake Day Massacre: Zoom Zoom, Then Doom Doom
Another day, another tragedy in a liberal-run state! A woman is dead and 13 injured after some maniac plowed through…