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Phoenix Cops Fired For Doing Their Job Too Enthusiastically Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Phoenix Cops Fired For Doing Their Job Too Enthusiastically Apparently

Big ElephantAugust 23, 2026

I’m sitting here sipping my coffee, reading about the latest shenanigans from the Phoenix police department, and I just can’t…

Dad’s Family Reunion Plans Foiled By Border Patrol
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Dad’s Family Reunion Plans Foiled By Border Patrol

Big ElephantAugust 23, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest drama, folks. Luis Manuel Aviles, a 48-year-old handyman from Nicaragua, was…

Pete Buttigieg Tries Again With Black Voters In South Carolina
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Pete Buttigieg Tries Again With Black Voters In South Carolina

Big ElephantAugust 23, 2026

Pete Buttigieg is back in South Carolina, and this time he’s got his sights set on 2028. Folks, I almost…

Gene Simmons still won’t leave the stage because your grandma needs to see him one more time
Breaking, Music News

Gene Simmons still won’t leave the stage because your grandma needs to see him one more time

Chord F. DiscordAugust 23, 2026August 23, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, Gene Simmons, the legendary bassist and vocalist of KISS, has announced that he will…

DIMMU BORGIR Still Exists Because They Clearly Hate Their Families
Breaking, Music News

DIMMU BORGIR Still Exists Because They Clearly Hate Their Families

Chord F. DiscordAugust 23, 2026August 23, 2026

Oh boy, you guys, I’ve got some earth-shattering news that will probably change the course of your life forever: Dimmu…

Bipartisan Magic Happens Kushner And Jeffries Talk Nice
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Bipartisan Magic Happens Kushner And Jeffries Talk Nice

Big ElephantAugust 23, 2026

Folks, I’m reading this article on CNN while sipping my morning coffee, and I’ve got to say, it’s a wild…

Rip Current Interrupted By Unscheduled Act Of Heroism
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Rip Current Interrupted By Unscheduled Act Of Heroism

Big ElephantAugust 23, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about this incredible story of a Georgia teacher who saved a young girl from…

Trump Aide’s Old Tweets Reveal Totally Normal And Not At All Alarming Loyalty
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Aide’s Old Tweets Reveal Totally Normal And Not At All Alarming Loyalty

Big ElephantAugust 22, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Natalie Harp, a key White House aide to President Donald Trump, and…

Chris Slade retires from drumming because 70 is the new 25 and he’s exhausted
Breaking, Music News

Chris Slade retires from drumming because 70 is the new 25 and he’s exhausted

Chord F. DiscordAugust 22, 2026August 22, 2026

I just spilled my beer all over my Black Sabbath t-shirt 🍺🖤. Chris Slade, the legendary Welsh drummer who’s played…

Police Chief Says Cop’s Spouse Found Dead, Founder Now Missing
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Police Chief Says Cop’s Spouse Found Dead, Founder Now Missing

Big ElephantAugust 22, 2026

Well, folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A Massachusetts woman, Karen Solomon, is being sought by authorities…

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Latest posts

  • Phoenix Cops Fired For Doing Their Job Too Enthusiastically Apparently
  • L’AGENCE Finally Decides to Make Clothes That Won’t Get You Kicked Out of the Country Club for Looking Like a Total Slob On the Tennis Court
  • Dad’s Family Reunion Plans Foiled By Border Patrol
  • Anime Torment at Death Coffee Party 2026, Czech Republic (08/23/2026)
  • Cytotoxin at Death Coffee Party 2026, Czech Republic (08/23/2026)

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