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Tag: horror

Trump Declares He’s Too Good to Grace Minnesota Governor with His Divine Voice After Suspect Nabbed
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Declares He’s Too Good to Grace Minnesota Governor with His Divine Voice After Suspect Nabbed

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Oh, the horror! Two Dem lawmakers in Minnesota got a little scare, and suddenly it’s Trump’s fault? The Fake News…

Kraft Heinz caves to tin-foil hat demands, yanks “artificial” colors from food, world now ending
Elephant Reads CNN

Kraft Heinz caves to tin-foil hat demands, yanks “artificial” colors from food, world now ending

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Oh, the horror! Kraft Heinz, bending the knee to the woke mob, is stripping artificial colors from our beloved Mac…

Welcome to the 24/7 Grind: Where Your Boss Owns Your Soul (and Your Evenings)
Elephant Reads CNN

Welcome to the 24/7 Grind: Where Your Boss Owns Your Soul (and Your Evenings)

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Oh, the horror! According to CNN, those poor, oppressed workers are being forced to work long hours thanks to the…

USA Spends Less, Blames Tariffs, World Laughs
Elephant Reads CNN

USA Spends Less, Blames Tariffs, World Laughs

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Oh, the horror! CNN is now blaming President Trump for…checks notes…Americans buying too much stuff? Apparently, these socialists think you…

JPMorgan Sapphire Card: Now 45% More Expensive to Impress People You Don’t Even Like
Elephant Reads CNN

JPMorgan Sapphire Card: Now 45% More Expensive to Impress People You Don’t Even Like

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Oh, the horror! JPMorgan Chase, bending to the woke mob, is hiking the annual fee on its Sapphire Reserve card…

MyPillow Guy Pilloried: Jury Says He Did a No-No to Voting Machine Dude
Elephant Reads CNN

MyPillow Guy Pilloried: Jury Says He Did a No-No to Voting Machine Dude

Big ElephantJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

Another day, another victory for the Deep State! A Colorado jury, probably filled with soy-latte-sipping liberals, has decided that MyPillow’s…

Shipping Shenanigans: CNN Gets Lost at Sea in the US-China Trade Tantrum
Elephant Reads CNN

Shipping Shenanigans: CNN Gets Lost at Sea in the US-China Trade Tantrum

Big ElephantJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

Oh, the horror! CNN reports that the shipping industry is in “chaos” because of Trump’s trade war with China. Can…

Judge Jeanine “Lock Her Up” Pirro Now Threatens to “Lock THEM Up”
Elephant Reads CNN

Judge Jeanine “Lock Her Up” Pirro Now Threatens to “Lock THEM Up”

Big ElephantJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

Oh, CNN is at it again, folks! Now they’re whining about Jeanine Pirro, our fearless, truth-telling queen, daring to be…

Trump throws a hissy fit because his BFF Russia got booted from the G7 crybaby club
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump throws a hissy fit because his BFF Russia got booted from the G7 crybaby club

Big ElephantJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

Oh, no! Not Trump wanting Russia back in the G7! The horror! Can you believe this guy? Probably wants to…

Trump’s ICE Agents to Make Democrats’ Cities Great Again Through Deportation, Says CNN Politics (Satire Alert)
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s ICE Agents to Make Democrats’ Cities Great Again Through Deportation, Says CNN Politics (Satire Alert)

Big ElephantJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

CNN is at it again, folks! They’re twisting the words of our great President Trump to make it sound like…

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