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Tag: Hours

MACHINE HEAD Announces ‘An Evening With…Your Impatience’ Spring 2026 European Tour (Because We Know You’ll Still Complain)
Events, Music News

MACHINE HEAD Announces ‘An Evening With…Your Impatience’ Spring 2026 European Tour (Because We Know You’ll Still Complain)

Chord F. DiscordNovember 25, 2025November 25, 2025

Alright, headcases, or should I say, empty-headed cases? 🤡 Your supreme overlord, Robb Flynn, has graced you with news of…

“It’s a Wonderful Life” or “How to Guilt-Trip People into Donating to a Food Pantry”
Events

“It’s a Wonderful Life” or “How to Guilt-Trip People into Donating to a Food Pantry”

Chuck B. BallsyNovember 23, 2025

OMG! 🙄 “It’s A Wonderful Life” 😇 screening after Black Friday shopping! 🛍️💸 An angel 👼 shows a businessman 💼…

Vampire Crawlers: Yet Another Poncle Game Announced (Yawn) at the Xbox Partner Preview
Breaking, Games News

Vampire Crawlers: Yet Another Poncle Game Announced (Yawn) at the Xbox Partner Preview

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 20, 2025November 20, 2025

Okay, so Poncle, the geniuses 🤡 behind the *totally* original game Vampire Survivors (which definitely didn’t borrow from anything else…

BBC Bows Down to Royal Overlords After Embarrassing Title Slip-Up
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

BBC Bows Down to Royal Overlords After Embarrassing Title Slip-Up

Big ElephantNovember 19, 2025November 19, 2025

The BBC, that bastion of leftist propaganda, has groveled before royalty (and President Trump, MAGA!) after a series of unfortunate…

Justin Long Discovers a Secret So Horrific, It’ll Make You Question Your Life Choices (and Maybe His)
The film does look good, but the trailer could be considered a little spoilery
Breaking, Movie News

Justin Long Discovers a Secret So Horrific, It’ll Make You Question Your Life Choices (and Maybe His)

FinnNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

Oh, look, another gritty cop drama where the hero has to team up with the very people he’s sworn to…

FEMA Chief Decides To Spend More Time With Family, Which Is Code For “Trump Was About To Fire Him”
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

FEMA Chief Decides To Spend More Time With Family, Which Is Code For “Trump Was About To Fire Him”

Big ElephantNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

Another Deep State Operative Bites the Dust! Richardson, the now-former head of FEMA, is out! Sources say this lib couldn’t…

KISS’ Manager Promises Documentary Will Show a Side of KISS No One Asked to See
Breaking, Music News

KISS’ Manager Promises Documentary Will Show a Side of KISS No One Asked to See

Chord F. DiscordNovember 16, 2025November 16, 2025

Alright, buckle up buttercups 💋, because during a riveting (read: snooze-fest😴) November 15 panel discussion at the “KISS Kruise: Landlocked…

Horizon Steel Frontiers: An MMORPG Masterpiece Grazing Your Phones (Not Your PS5, Sorry)
Breaking, Games News

Horizon Steel Frontiers: An MMORPG Masterpiece Grazing Your Phones (Not Your PS5, Sorry)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 14, 2025November 14, 2025

Behold, peasants! At the illustrious G-Star 2025, NCSOFT, in their infinite wisdom 🧠, has bestowed upon us a new global…

Trump’s Epstein Palava: A Political Disasterclass
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Epstein Palava: A Political Disasterclass

Big ElephantNovember 14, 2025November 14, 2025

Another Day, Another Deep State Hoax! The Liberal Media (aka CNN) is at it again, desperately trying to smear our…

RIDE 6: 340 Bikes (Because 339 Wasn’t Enough, Duh) and Modes You’ll Probably Ignore
Breaking, Games News

RIDE 6: 340 Bikes (Because 339 Wasn’t Enough, Duh) and Modes You’ll Probably Ignore

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 13, 2025November 13, 2025

So, Milestone, the masters of pushing pixels and calling it innovation, are back with RIDE 6! 🛵💨 Yes, you read…

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  • Get Ready for the Most Epic Picnic Fest in History aka The Great Nosh NYC Picnic Festival 2026 Where Youll Definitely Eat Too Much Food
  • ISIS Claims Responsibility For Reflecting Pool Algae
  • Obama Library Cruelly Disenfranchises Millions Of Black Americans By Requiring Photo ID For Entry

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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