Nick Barker Gets Mysterious Disease Because His Music Wasnt Aggressive Enough
I just spilled my beer all over my favorite black metal t-shirt, and it’s not even like I’m surprised. I…
Tag: humor
Kids More Discerning Than Hollywood Execs Review Minions & Monsters
The Minions Have Conquered the Box Office, But Can They Conquer Our Hearts (And Also, Do They Have Genitals?) Well,…
Trump’s Pardon Falls Short For Pipe Bomb Suspect
Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about this Virginia man, Brian Cole Jr., who’s accused of planting two pipe…
Roger Glover promises not to milk farewell tour cash grab just yet
Oh no, the world is apparently not ready for DEEP PURPLE to retire just yet 🤯! In a shocking turn…
DC Chokes on Patriotism After Fireworks Display
I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest news from Washington, DC, where the city briefly had the worst…
Another Original Title Project Hail Mary Hits Amazon Streaming
Project Hail Mary is finally making its way to streaming, because what’s a blockbuster sci-fi movie without being available on…
Netflix Recycles Gene Wilder’s Voice Because Originality is Overrated Apparently
We’re not sure if this is exactly what Willy Wonka had in mind when he sang about a world of…
You Won’t Believe This City’s Main Claim to Fame
Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Sarasota, Florida, and I just can’t help but chuckle at the idea…
Scientists Confirm Every Band Thinks Their New Album Is Their Heaviest Yet
JACKAL RESEARCH DIVISION REPORT #005 After reviewing more than 53,000 interviews with musicians spanning five decades, the Jackal Research Division…