Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: ILL

Tricolor Execs Accused of Turbocharging Fraud with Subprime Shenanigans
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Tricolor Execs Accused of Turbocharging Fraud with Subprime Shenanigans

Big ElephantAugust 19, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the $1.9 billion collapse of subprime auto lender Tricolor, and I have to…

A24 Steps in to Monetize Someone Else’s Viral Idea Again Apparently
Breaking, Movie News

A24 Steps in to Monetize Someone Else’s Viral Idea Again Apparently

FinnJuly 16, 2026July 16, 2026

In a bizarre incident that has left the internet scratching its head, a digital artist’s Backrooms-inspired artwork on Redbubble was…

PEAK Team Suddenly Decides to be Nice and Supports Make-A-Wish Because Who Needs Profits Anyway with a Totally Not Desperate Limited-Time Game Collection
Breaking, Games News

PEAK Team Suddenly Decides to be Nice and Supports Make-A-Wish Because Who Needs Profits Anyway with a Totally Not Desperate Limited-Time Game Collection

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 28, 2026April 28, 2026

Oh great, another opportunity for gamers to feel good about themselves while playing video games 🙄. The team behind the…

FEAR FACTORY’s DINO CAZARES SHUTS DOOR ON Ex-Members: ‘Chapter Closed Forever, No Key Under Mat’
FEAR FACTORY's Dino Cazares is done with his ex-bandmates, and he wants everyone to know it—preferably without getting angry emails about it
Breaking, Music News

FEAR FACTORY’s DINO CAZARES SHUTS DOOR ON Ex-Members: ‘Chapter Closed Forever, No Key Under Mat’

Chord F. DiscordMarch 1, 2026March 1, 2026

FEAR FACTORY’s founding guitarist Dino Cazares has officially closed the door on working with any former members of the band,…

Trump Admin in Court to Defend Shaky Prosecution of Kilmar Abrego Garcia — What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Admin in Court to Defend Shaky Prosecution of Kilmar Abrego Garcia — What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

Big ElephantFebruary 26, 2026February 26, 2026

Oh no, the libs are melting down again! CNN is crying about poor little Kilmar Abrego Garcia, the “Maryland father…

PRIMUS’s LES CLAYPOOL Goes Full Comic Book Nerd, Teams Up With Z2 COMICS For ‘Frizzle Fry’ Graphic Novel
PRIMUS DIVES HEADFIRST INTO A PSYCHEDELIC NIGHTMARE IN THEIR NEW ILLUSTRATED NOVELLA
Breaking, Music News

PRIMUS’s LES CLAYPOOL Goes Full Comic Book Nerd, Teams Up With Z2 COMICS For ‘Frizzle Fry’ Graphic Novel

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 20, 2026February 20, 2026

In a shocking development that will surely leave fans asking, “Wait, what?” legendary bass-slapping weirdos PRIMUS have announced their latest…

Catherine O’Hara’s Cause of Death Revealed: Spoiler Alert, It Wasn’t Moira Rose’s Wig
Breaking, Movie News

Catherine O’Hara’s Cause of Death Revealed: Spoiler Alert, It Wasn’t Moira Rose’s Wig

FinnFebruary 10, 2026February 10, 2026

Catherine O’Hara Died From Pulmonary Embolism, Death Certificate Reveals Well, folks, it looks like the comedy world has lost one…

“Kpop Demon Hunters” Launches Cereal So You Can Eat Your Idols’ Souls for Breakfast
Breaking, Movie News

“Kpop Demon Hunters” Launches Cereal So You Can Eat Your Idols’ Souls for Breakfast

FinnFebruary 2, 2026February 2, 2026

Brace yourselves, cereal enthusiasts and K-pop stans, because the world is about to get drenched in a tidal wave of Kpop…

3 Million Docs Reveal Trump’s Epstein Connection—Because Nothing Says ‘Transparency’ Like a Paper Avalanche
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

3 Million Docs Reveal Trump’s Epstein Connection—Because Nothing Says ‘Transparency’ Like a Paper Avalanche

Big ElephantJanuary 31, 2026January 31, 2026

TRUMP’S NAME DROPPED 1,000+ TIMES IN EPSTEIN FILES — BUT DON’T BELIEVE THE FAKE NEWS! President Trump, the greatest leader…

Josh Rogin: Son’s Medical Emergency Now Just a Health Code Violation for ICE Detention Center
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Josh Rogin: Son’s Medical Emergency Now Just a Health Code Violation for ICE Detention Center

Big ElephantJanuary 24, 2026January 24, 2026

In a heartbreaking turn of events that Democrats will surely blame on President Trump, a tragedy unfolds that proves the…

Posts pagination

1 2 3 Next

Latest posts

  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald J Trump brings home Kevin Rideout after ten months
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald J Trump blasts Tucker Carlson and allies as losers
  • Billionaire Buys Sports Teams Because He Clearly Needs More Toys
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social August 22 2026
  • !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.