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Father of Georgia School Shooter Found Guilty of Being a Real-Life Villain in the Most Dramatic Family Feud Ever
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Father of Georgia School Shooter Found Guilty of Being a Real-Life Villain in the Most Dramatic Family Feud Ever

Big ElephantMarch 3, 2026March 3, 2026

Finally, Some Justice! Georgia School Shooter’s Dad Convicted of Murder In a massive win for law and order, Colin Gray,…

BUTCHER BABIES Unleash New Single ‘Lost In Your Touch’—Because Nothing Says Love Like Metal Mayhem
Breaking, Music News

BUTCHER BABIES Unleash New Single ‘Lost In Your Touch’—Because Nothing Says Love Like Metal Mayhem

Chord F. DiscordMarch 3, 2026March 3, 2026

BUTCHER BABIES are back with a new single, and oh boy, it’s a doozy. Titled “Lost In Your Touch”, this…

A ‘Game of Thrones’ Movie Is in the Works — Because Clearly, We Haven’t Suffered Enough Yet
Oh, look, it's Hollywood's favorite cash cow trotting out yet another way to print money! 🐄💰
Breaking, Movie News

A ‘Game of Thrones’ Movie Is in the Works — Because Clearly, We Haven’t Suffered Enough Yet

FinnMarch 3, 2026March 3, 2026

Just when you thought HBO had milked every last drop of dragon drama from George R.R. Martin’s increasingly mythical “almost…

EVE Online Demands Your Blood For Epic Real-World Lore Document
EVE Online Wants Your Blood — Literally
Breaking, Games News

EVE Online Demands Your Blood For Epic Real-World Lore Document

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMarch 3, 2026March 3, 2026

Move over, fancy cosmetics and exclusive ships, because CCP Games just unveiled the most metal way to immortalize yourself in…

KILLSWITCH ENGAGE Declares June 2026 U.S. Tour, MACHINE HEAD Obliged to Attend
KILLSWITCH ENGAGE Is BACK With A Summer Tour That'll Melt Your Face Off
Breaking, Events, Music News

KILLSWITCH ENGAGE Declares June 2026 U.S. Tour, MACHINE HEAD Obliged to Attend

Chord F. DiscordMarch 3, 2026March 3, 2026

Metalheads, REJOICE! KILLSWITCH ENGAGE is finally dragging their heavy asses out of hibernation for a massive U.S. headline tour this…

Zootopia 2 Finally Reveals When It’s Taking Over Your Streaming Queue — Because Your Life Wasn’t Already Chaotic Enough
Breaking, Movie News

Zootopia 2 Finally Reveals When It’s Taking Over Your Streaming Queue — Because Your Life Wasn’t Already Chaotic Enough

FinnMarch 3, 2026March 3, 2026

Oh boy, here we go again. Another animated flick that made more money than most countries’ GDPs. But hey, who…

5 Things to Know for March 3: Iran’s Next Big Thing, Protests Everywhere, Primaries Madness, Clinton’s Legal Drama, and Nancy Guthrie’s Surprise Comeback
War With Iran Heats Up as Trump Unleashes "Big Wave" of US Action
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

5 Things to Know for March 3: Iran’s Next Big Thing, Protests Everywhere, Primaries Madness, Clinton’s Legal Drama, and Nancy Guthrie’s Surprise Comeback

Big ElephantMarch 3, 2026March 3, 2026

The Middle East is burning as Israel and the US pound Iranian targets while Iran strikes back at US allies.…

Stocks Twerk as Wall Street Freaks Over Iran War Freakout
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Stocks Twerk as Wall Street Freaks Over Iran War Freakout

Big ElephantMarch 3, 2026March 3, 2026

Trump Puts Iran on Notice: Global Markets Shake, But America Stays Strong Well, well, well – looks like our fearless…

We are the World (Cup) but Men in Blazers’ Roger Bennett Just Wrote a Book About It
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

We are the World (Cup) but Men in Blazers’ Roger Bennett Just Wrote a Book About It

Big ElephantMarch 3, 2026March 3, 2026

Oh great, another liberal soccer love letter while America burns! Roger Bennett’s new book, “We are the World (Cup),” is…

Events

8th Annual Buffalo LepreCon: Where Everyone’s Irish, No One’s Sober, and the Shamrocks Are Optional

Chuck B. BallsyMarch 3, 2026

The Leprecon Crawl is back for the 8th year, because nothing says “networking” like green beer and regret! 🍀🍻 Join…

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Latest posts

  • Trump Claims He Never Promised A Livable Country
  • California Reminds Voters There Are Just 30 Days Left To Vote In Last Tuesday’s Election
  • Super Official Totally Not Made Up Book About SLIPKNOT That They Definitely Didnt Try To Stop From Being Written All About Their Rise To Fame And The Chaos
  • Ninja Theory Finally Admits They Got Bored And Stopped Working On Project Mara Because Let’s Be Real It Was Never Going To Be As Cool As DmC Anyway
  • King’s Voice Now Available for Free to Seniors Who Still Think They’re Relevant

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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