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Because You Clearly Need More Money To Buy Avocado Toast
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Because You Clearly Need More Money To Buy Avocado Toast

Big ElephantAugust 10, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the Powerball jackpot, which is now estimated to be a whopping $905 million…

Democrats Unify With Speeches Because That Usually Works
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Democrats Unify With Speeches Because That Usually Works

Big ElephantAugust 9, 2026August 9, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Michigan Democratic Senate nominee Abdul El-Sayed had a “really warm” conversation…

Abuser Accused Rep Still Running Because Why Not Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Abuser Accused Rep Still Running Because Why Not Apparently

Big ElephantAugust 9, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Rep. Max Miller is still in the running for his seat…

Anthrax somehow still exists and Darby Todd is drumming now
Breaking, Music News

Anthrax somehow still exists and Darby Todd is drumming now

Chord F. DiscordAugust 9, 2026August 9, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some exciting news? I mean, I’m not, but I’ll tell you anyway 🙄.…

Rush Drummer Gushes About Geddy And Alex Being Barely Tolerable Humans
Breaking, Music News

Rush Drummer Gushes About Geddy And Alex Being Barely Tolerable Humans

Chord F. DiscordAugust 9, 2026August 9, 2026

OMG, you guys! 🤯 Anika Nilles is playing drums for RUSH’s 2026 and 2027 tours! I mean, I’m not surprised…

Gaming Landscape Shaken by EA’s Blockbuster Sale to Private Equity Sharks
Breaking, Games News

Gaming Landscape Shaken by EA’s Blockbuster Sale to Private Equity Sharks

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 9, 2026August 9, 2026

The gaming world is still reeling from the news that Electronic Arts, one of the oldest and most iconic publishers…

SEED MMO withers under weight of actual human interaction and cooperation somehow
Breaking, Games News

SEED MMO withers under weight of actual human interaction and cooperation somehow

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 9, 2026August 9, 2026

When I first heard about SEED at Summer Game Fest, I was like a kid in a candy store, excitedly…

Patriotism now a competitive youth sport apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Patriotism now a competitive youth sport apparently

Big ElephantAugust 9, 2026

Folks, I just about spit out my coffee reading about the Patriot Games, a new Trump-backed youth competition that’s being…

Ronnie Romero praises AI because his job is safe probably
Breaking, Music News

Ronnie Romero praises AI because his job is safe probably

Chord F. DiscordAugust 9, 2026August 9, 2026

OH NO, THE ROBOTS ARE COMING FOR OUR MUSIC! 🤖🎸 Singer Ronnie Romero, who’s had a pretty sweet gig with…

Nikki Sixx Kills Music as We Know It
Breaking, Music News

Nikki Sixx Kills Music as We Know It

Chord F. DiscordAugust 9, 2026August 9, 2026

In a shocking interview with Joann Butler In Studio With…, MÖTLEY CRÜE bassist and main songwriter Nikki Sixx dropped a…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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