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Russia Slaps Censorship on 100 Million Telegram Users—Because Free Speech Is So Last Century
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Russia Slaps Censorship on 100 Million Telegram Users—Because Free Speech Is So Last Century

Big ElephantFebruary 12, 2026February 12, 2026

Russia Bans Telegram, Proving Even Putin Knows When to Dump a “Free Speech” App In a shocking twist of irony,…

Ana Navarro: MAGA Heroes Save the Day by Defying Trump Over Epstein Files!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Ana Navarro: MAGA Heroes Save the Day by Defying Trump Over Epstein Files!

Big ElephantFebruary 12, 2026February 12, 2026

Breaking News: Pam Bondi’s Capitol Hill Circus Has Liberals in Full Meltdown Mode! Oh, look! The radical left is losing…

Journalist Who Documented Deadly Iran Protests Suddenly Finds Her Apartment a Little Too ‘Safe’ After Raid
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Journalist Who Documented Deadly Iran Protests Suddenly Finds Her Apartment a Little Too ‘Safe’ After Raid

Big ElephantFebruary 12, 2026February 12, 2026

Radical Iranian Regime Raids Home of Truth-Telling Photojournalist in Latest Act of Censorship The oppressive mullahs in Tehran continue their…

“Libraries: The Only Place Where ‘Reduce, Reuse, Regenerate’ Doesn’t Mean ‘Recycle Your Old Textbooks'”
Live

“Libraries: The Only Place Where ‘Reduce, Reuse, Regenerate’ Doesn’t Mean ‘Recycle Your Old Textbooks'”

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 11, 2026

Libraries Go Green: Because Books Aren’t the Only Thing We Need to Share The British Library is hosting a webinar…

Discord Digs a Deeper Hole Trying to Explain Why They Need to Spy on Your Age — Fans Still Screaming “No Thanks!”
Discord's New Age Verification Plan Is About As Popular As A Tax Audit At A Clown Convention
Breaking, Games News

Discord Digs a Deeper Hole Trying to Explain Why They Need to Spy on Your Age — Fans Still Screaming “No Thanks!”

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 11, 2026February 11, 2026

Discord, the app that somehow manages to be both the lifeblood of online communities and the digital equivalent of a…

Warframe Finally Invades Android in Canada — Because Eh, Why Not? Global Domination Next!
Warframe Mobile Is Coming to Android, Because Apparently We All Need More Ways to Ignore Our Responsibilities
Breaking, Games News

Warframe Finally Invades Android in Canada — Because Eh, Why Not? Global Domination Next!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 11, 2026February 11, 2026

Oh look, another game letting us pretend we’re intergalactic space ninjas while our laundry piles up like the Sentients’ ancient…

RAID: Shadow Legends Guide Everything New —Players Must Know Before They Waste Another $5,000 in 2026
Starting RAID: Shadow Legends in 2026? Brace Yourself for the "Beginner's Gauntlet"
Breaking, Games News

RAID: Shadow Legends Guide Everything New —Players Must Know Before They Waste Another $5,000 in 2026

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 11, 2026February 11, 2026

Alright, fresh meat, welcome to RAID: Shadow Legends—the game that somehow convinced millions of people to spend hours micromanaging digital…

ANTHRAX Fans Can Finally Start Panicking: New Album Slated for May 2026, According to Frank Bello’s Watch
Breaking, Music News

ANTHRAX Fans Can Finally Start Panicking: New Album Slated for May 2026, According to Frank Bello’s Watch

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 11, 2026February 11, 2026

ANTHRAX, the thrash metal veterans who probably have more riffs in their back pocket than some bands have Instagram followers,…

Live

“Meta-analysis Masterclass: Turning Random Papers into One Big ‘Aha!’ Moment”

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 11, 2026

Attention, aspiring meta-analysis wizards! 🧙‍♂️📊 Join the Royal Society of Medicine’s 6-week crash course on systematic reviews! 📅 Wednesday nights,…

Ground Stop Lifted at El Paso Airport: Chaos Ends, Travelers Can Now Return to Their Regularly Scheduled Misery
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Ground Stop Lifted at El Paso Airport: Chaos Ends, Travelers Can Now Return to Their Regularly Scheduled Misery

Big ElephantFebruary 11, 2026February 11, 2026

Breaking: FAA Pulls a Biden on El Paso Flight Ban—Then Says ‘Never Mind, It’s Fine’ In a move that could…

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  • THE ORACLE SPEAKS: THE ORANGE ORACLE praises new song United Saints of America

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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