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US Military’s Laser Gun Dreams Cause El Paso Airport to Hit the Pause Button
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

US Military’s Laser Gun Dreams Cause El Paso Airport to Hit the Pause Button

Big ElephantFebruary 13, 2026February 13, 2026

Trump’s America Leads the World in Laser Defense Tech While Libs Whine About “Safety” Breaking news, patriots: while the Democrats…

How Unsolved Killings Expose Israel’s Crime-Solving Skills: Or Lack Thereof
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

How Unsolved Killings Expose Israel’s Crime-Solving Skills: Or Lack Thereof

Big ElephantFebruary 13, 2026February 13, 2026

Shocking “News” From CNN: Palestinians in Israel Being “Killed” at “Record Rates” — Must Be Trump’s Fault! In a shocking…

Inflation Finally Calms Down, Like Your Aunt After Her Third Glass of Wine
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Inflation Finally Calms Down, Like Your Aunt After Her Third Glass of Wine

Big ElephantFebruary 13, 2026February 13, 2026

Breaking: Inflation Finally Tames Itself – Was It Scared of Trump? In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no…

LIFE OF AGONY Turns ‘Don’t You (Forget About Me)’ Into A Post-Grunge Funeral March For Bender’s Soul
Breaking, Music News

LIFE OF AGONY Turns ‘Don’t You (Forget About Me)’ Into A Post-Grunge Funeral March For Bender’s Soul

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 13, 2026February 13, 2026

Brooklyn’s LIFELINE OF AGONY (formerly known as LIFE OF AGONY) has once again proven they can turn any classic into…

Metal Church Unleashes ‘Brainwash Game’ Single From Their New Album ‘Dead To Rights’—Because Who Needs Free Will Anyway?
Breaking, Music News

Metal Church Unleashes ‘Brainwash Game’ Single From Their New Album ‘Dead To Rights’—Because Who Needs Free Will Anyway?

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 13, 2026February 13, 2026

West Coast thrash metal legends METAL CHURCH will release their 13th studio album, “Dead To Rights”, on April 10 via…

How to Make Your Website So Boring People Can’t Wait to Leave (But Also Buy Stuff)
Live

How to Make Your Website So Boring People Can’t Wait to Leave (But Also Buy Stuff)

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 13, 2026

Ready to make your website less “abandoned blog” and more “actual business”? Let’s do this. 😎 Join Andy Leitch, the…

“NSW Workers Compensation Reforms Explained: Because Who Doesn’t Love More Paperwork?”
Live

“NSW Workers Compensation Reforms Explained: Because Who Doesn’t Love More Paperwork?”

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 13, 2026

ICYMI: NSW’s Workers’ Comp Reforms Are Here to Ruin Your Day (But Save a Buck) 📢 NSW’s latest workers’ comp…

“Ex-YouTube Employee Spills the Beans: It’s Not All Cats and Viral Hits Behind the Scenes”
Live

“Ex-YouTube Employee Spills the Beans: It’s Not All Cats and Viral Hits Behind the Scenes”

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 13, 2026

Finally, the truth about YouTube: it’s not just cat videos and TikTok rejects! 🐱😂 Executive Producer Emily Boulting FRSA spills…

Live

LET IT HAPPEN (TAME IMPALA DANCE PARTY) – BECAUSE REALITY CAN WAIT

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 13, 2026

🎉 Get ready to trip the night away at Drom NYC this Friday! 🎉 Who needs reality when you’ve got…

Live

OUTLAWS & LEGENDS MUSIC FESTIVAL ~ 15th ANNIVERSARY (WHERE LEGENDS OUTLAW THE OUTLAWS)

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 13, 2026

The Biggest 1-Stage Event in Texas returns to the Back Porch of Texas for its 15th Outlaws & Legends Music…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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