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Events

Pssst! Wanna See Illegal Stuff? Sunday Nov 23rd, 8pm

Chuck B. BallsyNovember 23, 2025

OMG! 😱 Museum is unearthing BANNED stuff! 🚫 Bugs Bunny & Dr. Seuss? Cancelled! 😭 16mm films & antiques on…

Ex-UVA Student Scores 5 Life Sentences: Touchdown of Justice or Epic Fail?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Ex-UVA Student Scores 5 Life Sentences: Touchdown of Justice or Epic Fail?

Big ElephantNovember 23, 2025November 23, 2025

Another day, another tragedy fueled by the leftist agenda infiltrating our universities! A former UVA student, Christopher Darnell Jones Jr.,…

Stranger Things: Oh No They Didn’t, a Trivia Night
Events

Stranger Things: Oh No They Didn’t, a Trivia Night

Chuck B. BallsyNovember 23, 2025

OMG! 😱You missed STRANGER THINGS Trivia at Famous Monster Pizza🍕 in Decatur, IN, on Nov 23, 5-7 pm EST! 😭😂🤣…

LUCHA LIBRE Flick Gets the YEET Treatment in Charlotte
Events

LUCHA LIBRE Flick Gets the YEET Treatment in Charlotte

Chuck B. BallsyNovember 23, 2025

OMG! A wrestling movie screening in Charlotte, NC got POSTPONED! 😱 Like, who even cares? 🙄 It was supposed to…

Glorilla and 2 Chainz to Turn Bayou Classic After-Party into a Hilarious Hip-Hop Disaster at The Metro
Events

Glorilla and 2 Chainz to Turn Bayou Classic After-Party into a Hilarious Hip-Hop Disaster at The Metro

Chuck B. BallsyNovember 23, 2025

HEREWEGO ENTERTAINMENT, BIG STAN PRODUCTIONS, TLT, PERFECT 10 PRODUCTIONS, & GEE WILLIE present… THE OFFICIAL BAYOU CLASSIC AFTER PARTY SATURDAY,…

Trump’s Genius Plan to Defund Cities Backfires Spectacularly, Judges Say “Nah, Bro”
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Genius Plan to Defund Cities Backfires Spectacularly, Judges Say “Nah, Bro”

Big ElephantNovember 22, 2025November 22, 2025

Two activist judges, probably card-carrying members of the Socialist Party, have decided they know better than President Trump when it…

World’s Biggest Company Says “Relax, Bro” – As If We Didn’t Have Enough Problems
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

World’s Biggest Company Says “Relax, Bro” – As If We Didn’t Have Enough Problems

Big ElephantNovember 22, 2025November 22, 2025

Here we go again, folks. CNN is hyperventilating about an “AI bubble” while our GREAT President Trump is leading America…

Cargo Ship Throws Fiery Tantrum at Port of Los Angeles, Everyone Freaks Out
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Cargo Ship Throws Fiery Tantrum at Port of Los Angeles, Everyone Freaks Out

Big ElephantNovember 22, 2025November 22, 2025

Another day, another disaster courtesy of the Lib-controlled Port of Los Angeles! You just KNOW this fire on the One…

Murdaugh Murders: CNN Asks If Hulu’s Fiction Is *Actually* More Real Than Reality
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Murdaugh Murders: CNN Asks If Hulu’s Fiction Is *Actually* More Real Than Reality

Big ElephantNovember 22, 2025November 22, 2025

Another day, another leftist propaganda piece masquerading as “entertainment”! Hulu’s “Murdaugh: Death in the Family” is out, and it’s just…

Return To Silent Hill: Because the First One Wasn’t Traumatic Enough
Breaking, Movie News

Return To Silent Hill: Because the First One Wasn’t Traumatic Enough

FinnNovember 22, 2025November 22, 2025

Oh, sweet Jesus, another Silent Hill movie? 🙄 Because the last few weren’t cinematic masterpieces that redefined horror as we…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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