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Square Enix Because Clearly What The World Needed Was More Overpriced Coffee And Final Fantasy Merch To Go With Their Existential Crisis
Breaking, Games News

Square Enix Because Clearly What The World Needed Was More Overpriced Coffee And Final Fantasy Merch To Go With Their Existential Crisis

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 24, 2026April 24, 2026

Okay, okay, gamers, calm down! We know you’re all super excited about the latest news from Square Enix, but let’s…

STITCHED UP HEART Just Released The Most Epic Song Ever ‘Beast’ Featuring NONPOINT’s ELIAS SORIANO Because You Definitely Needed More Screaming In Your Life
Breaking, Music News

STITCHED UP HEART Just Released The Most Epic Song Ever ‘Beast’ Featuring NONPOINT’s ELIAS SORIANO Because You Definitely Needed More Screaming In Your Life

Chord F. DiscordApril 24, 2026April 24, 2026

Get ready for the most epic announcement ever, folks 🤩! Los Angeles-based hard rock band STITCHED UP HEART will release…

Liberal Hippie Singer Kills Someone Big Whoop
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Liberal Hippie Singer Kills Someone Big Whoop

Big ElephantApril 24, 2026April 24, 2026

It’s a beautiful day in America, folks, and I’m thrilled to report that our great nation is still standing, despite…

Another American Icon Sold to Foreignlosers, Sad
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Another American Icon Sold to Foreignlosers, Sad

Big ElephantApril 24, 2026April 24, 2026

It’s a beautiful day in America, folks, and I’m thrilled to report that our great nation is still standing, despite…

Deep state soldier gets busted for winning big on Maduro takedown
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Deep state soldier gets busted for winning big on Maduro takedown

Big ElephantApril 24, 2026April 24, 2026

Oh joy, oh rapture, the liberal media is at it again, spreading their fake news and alternative facts about the…

Diana Ross Totally Not Bitter About Being Left Out of the Michael Jackson Biopic or Anything
Breaking, Movie News

Diana Ross Totally Not Bitter About Being Left Out of the Michael Jackson Biopic or Anything

FinnApril 24, 2026April 24, 2026

The drama, the excitement, the utter chaos that is the Michael Jackson biopic! 🎬👀 It’s like a never-ending soap opera,…

Fake news slams Trump’s genius Spirit Airlines bailout plan obviously
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Fake news slams Trump’s genius Spirit Airlines bailout plan obviously

Big ElephantApril 24, 2026April 24, 2026

The so-called “experts” are at it again, trying to tell us that our great President Donald Trump’s decisions are somehow…

UNDERRATED Death Metal Band UNDEATH Finally Gets Noticed by Someone and Signs with RELAPSE RECORDS Because Nobody Else Would Take Them
Breaking, Music News

UNDERRATED Death Metal Band UNDEATH Finally Gets Noticed by Someone and Signs with RELAPSE RECORDS Because Nobody Else Would Take Them

Chord F. DiscordApril 23, 2026April 23, 2026

Oh great, another super cool and totally not annoying death metal band has signed with a record label 🤘🎸. I…

CLUELESS Sequel Series Abruptly Cancelled Because Nobody Was Actually Clueless About How Bad The Idea Was
Breaking, Movie News

CLUELESS Sequel Series Abruptly Cancelled Because Nobody Was Actually Clueless About How Bad The Idea Was

FinnApril 23, 2026April 23, 2026

Breaking news, folks: the Clueless sequel series that no one really asked for is not happening at Peacock 🙅‍♀️. I…

RAMONES To Waste Entire Year Reliving Glory Days With Overly Long And Probably Totally Unnecessary 50th Anniversary Party For Their Debut Album Because Let’s Face It They’re Not Getting Any Younger
Breaking, Music News

RAMONES To Waste Entire Year Reliving Glory Days With Overly Long And Probably Totally Unnecessary 50th Anniversary Party For Their Debut Album Because Let’s Face It They’re Not Getting Any Younger

Chord F. DiscordApril 23, 2026April 23, 2026

The Ramones are still a thing, apparently, and people are still talking about them 50 years later 🎸🔥. Like, who…

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