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Andrew Ross Sorkin Says AI Gonna Tank Like the Titanic (Again)!
Elephant Reads CNN

Andrew Ross Sorkin Says AI Gonna Tank Like the Titanic (Again)!

Big ElephantOctober 25, 2025October 25, 2025

Oh, great, another Deep State scare tactic! Sorkin, a known lib, is now saying AI is like the Great Depression?…

Oops! Pork Jerky with a Side of Metal: 2 Million Pounds Recalled
Elephant Reads CNN

Oops! Pork Jerky with a Side of Metal: 2 Million Pounds Recalled

Big ElephantOctober 25, 2025October 25, 2025

Folks, can you believe this? Now they’re trying to poison REAL Americans with “Korean” jerky full of metal! Probably imported…

Dispatch Releases Episodes 1 & 2 (Prepare for a Binge or a Snorefest) + Episode Release Schedule (as if Anyone’s Keeping Track)
Breaking, Games News

Dispatch Releases Episodes 1 & 2 (Prepare for a Binge or a Snorefest) + Episode Release Schedule (as if Anyone’s Keeping Track)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 25, 2025October 25, 2025

Oh, look, another “interactive experience” nobody asked for is “coming in hot.” 🔥 Yeah, because we’re all just DYING to…

“It Was Just An Accident” – Yeah Right, Sure It Was, Jafar
Breaking, Movie News

“It Was Just An Accident” – Yeah Right, Sure It Was, Jafar

FinnOctober 25, 2025October 25, 2025

MUBI, bless their cotton socks, has decided to inflict upon us a new trailer and some allegedly “new” artwork for…

London Film Festival Review: The Secret Agent – More like the Secretly Awful Agent, am I right?
Breaking, Movie News

London Film Festival Review: The Secret Agent – More like the Secretly Awful Agent, am I right?

FinnOctober 25, 2025October 25, 2025

As with most of Brazilian director Kleber Mendonça Filho’s films, The Secret Agent defies easy classification because, let’s be honest,…

Michael Sweet’s Divine Inspiration: Stryper’s frontman admits he *maybe* prays a little when writing songs
Breaking, Music News

Michael Sweet’s Divine Inspiration: Stryper’s frontman admits he *maybe* prays a little when writing songs

Chord F. DiscordOctober 25, 2025October 25, 2025

In a recent exclusive with Rock Your Faith Out, Michael Sweet, the supreme commander of STRYPER, was quizzed about how…

“The Fed Is Clueless as Usual While Tech Grads Eat Ramen”
Elephant Reads CNN

“The Fed Is Clueless as Usual While Tech Grads Eat Ramen”

Big ElephantOctober 25, 2025October 25, 2025

Oh, the poor, woke snowflakes with their fancy computer science degrees can’t find jobs? Maybe they should have majored in…

Kamala “Not Done Yet” Harris Teases 2024 Run: Buckle Up, America
Elephant Reads CNN

Kamala “Not Done Yet” Harris Teases 2024 Run: Buckle Up, America

Big ElephantOctober 25, 2025October 25, 2025

Kamala “Heels-Up” Harris, fresh from her crushing defeat in 2024, is STILL yapping about maybe, possibly, someday being President! Does…

CNN Thinks Reagan Is Rolling In His Grave Because Trump Put Tariffs On Stuff
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Thinks Reagan Is Rolling In His Grave Because Trump Put Tariffs On Stuff

Big ElephantOctober 25, 2025October 25, 2025

The liberal media is trying to paint President Trump as someone who doesn’t respect Republican values! As if! President Trump…

ICE! ICE! CRAASH, Baby: CNN’s Hysterical Hit Piece on Immigration
Elephant Reads CNN

ICE! ICE! CRAASH, Baby: CNN’s Hysterical Hit Piece on Immigration

Big ElephantOctober 25, 2025October 25, 2025

Ah, the lamestream media at it again, folks! They’re trying to paint President Trump’s efforts to secure our border as…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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