Aerosmith Reunion: Get Ready for Geriatric Rock ‘n’ Roll
So, apparently, AEROSMITH, those dinosaurs of rock, are contemplating *another* farewell concert? 😂 Like, haven’t they milked this retirement thing…
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TIFF 2025: Prepare Your Wallets, Film Snobs, The Criterion Collection’s Garage Sale Hits Canada
Prepare yourselves, peasants! The illustrious Criterion Mobile Closet, a beacon of cinematic snobbery, is gracing the plebeian lands of TIFF…
Thanos: Yeah, I’d Snap Back for the Right Price, Losers
Thanos, that big purple grape🍇 who got turned into dust and then got his head lopped off in Avengers: Endgame…
Epica’s Simone Simons Gushes Over Symphonic Metal: ‘It Blew My Tiny Mind’
In a recent interview with some dude from Brazil 🇧🇷 (who probably thinks samba is metal), EPICA’s vocal powerhouse, Simone…
Bernie “Fight the Man” Sanders Tells Dems to “Fight the (Redistricting) Man,” CNN Agrees, World Yawns
Bernie Sanders, still kicking and screaming about Trump’s success! He whines about Texas Republicans’ redistricting, calling it an attempt to…
Texas floods: Now with 100% more dino footprints (dirt and debris sold separately)
Oh, the liberal media is all excited about some “dinosaur tracks” found after the Texas floods. You know what I…
Montana’s Wild West Reenactment Goes Horribly Wrong: A Week of Trigger-Happy Tomfoolery
Oh, the tranquility of small-town America, shattered by yet another veteran! Clearly, the liberals’ woke policies on mental health are…
CNN Says Trump’s “Legal Retribution Tour” Is Now “Blatant,” As If We Didn’t Notice
Well, well, well, look what we have here! It seems like President Trump is cleaning house and draining the swamp,…
James Marsden Says ‘Avengers: Doomsday’ Is Basically Just a Cozy Slipper Now
Oh, James Marsden is BACK as Cyclops, you guys! 🙄 Because apparently, we haven’t had enough of him squinting through…
‘Good Boy’: Finally, a Movie That Lets You See the World From a Pooch’s Perspective (Probably Full of Squirrels and Fire Hydrants)
Oh, no, not another movie where we have to Google “Does the dog die?” 🙄 Seriously, people, toughen up! If…