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Tag: James Hetfield

ARCHITECTS Singer SAM CARTER Reveals The Most Metal Thing That’s Ever Happened To Him: METALLICA’s JAMES HETFIELD Brought Them A Cake And Didn’t Even Smash It
Breaking, Music News

ARCHITECTS Singer SAM CARTER Reveals The Most Metal Thing That’s Ever Happened To Him: METALLICA’s JAMES HETFIELD Brought Them A Cake And Didn’t Even Smash It

Chord F. DiscordMay 27, 2026May 27, 2026

Breaking news: Sam Carter from ARCHITECTS is basically the coolest guy ever, and we’re all just jealous of his awesome…

DAVE MUSTAINE: JAMES HETFIELD And I Were Basically The Dynamic Duo Of Metal Except When We Weren’t And I Got Kicked Out
Breaking, Music News

DAVE MUSTAINE: JAMES HETFIELD And I Were Basically The Dynamic Duo Of Metal Except When We Weren’t And I Got Kicked Out

Chord F. DiscordMay 7, 2026May 7, 2026

Breaking news: Dave Mustaine is retiring from music due to a condition that’s making it hard for him to play…

MEGADETH Totally Didn’t Steal That Song Title From Metallica and Here’s Their Super Original Performance of Ride The Lightning in Bogota
Breaking News: MEGADETH Plays "Ride The Lightning" Live, Internet Loses Its Mind 🤯
Breaking, Music News

MEGADETH Totally Didn’t Steal That Song Title From Metallica and Here’s Their Super Original Performance of Ride The Lightning in Bogota

Chord F. DiscordApril 28, 2026April 28, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, MEGADETH played their version of “Ride The Lightning” live at the Movistar Arena in…

KNOCKED LOOSE Enlists DENZEL CURRY For New Song And Music Video ‘Hive Mind’ Because Two Headbangers Are Better Than One
Breaking, Music News

KNOCKED LOOSE Enlists DENZEL CURRY For New Song And Music Video ‘Hive Mind’ Because Two Headbangers Are Better Than One

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 10, 2026February 10, 2026

KNOCKED LOOSE just dropped their latest single “Hive Mind” featuring Denzel Curry, and apparently, Louisville, Kentucky’s David Armstrong Extreme Park…

DAVID ELLEFSON COMPLAINS NEW MEGADETH ALBUM SOUNDS LIKE MEGADETH’S WORST NIGHTMARE: HIMSELF
Oh Look, Dave's Still Mad and Ellefson's Still Talking!
Breaking, Music News

DAVID ELLEFSON COMPLAINS NEW MEGADETH ALBUM SOUNDS LIKE MEGADETH’S WORST NIGHTMARE: HIMSELF

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 2, 2026February 2, 2026

So David Ellefson, the guy who got *very* publicly ghosted from Megadeth, is still out here yapping on his podcast…

SYSTEM OF A DOWN’s DARON MALAKIAN: How I Accidentally Became METALLICA’s Backup Guitarist for Two Nights in 2000
Breaking, Music News

SYSTEM OF A DOWN’s DARON MALAKIAN: How I Accidentally Became METALLICA’s Backup Guitarist for Two Nights in 2000

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 4, 2026January 4, 2026

When a 22-Year-Old in Lakers Sweats Accidentally Became Metal God for a Night: The Daron Malakian Origin Story 🤘😂 Once…

Listen: METALLICA’s JAMES HETFIELD Drops Heavy Metal Ornaments on ‘A Visit From St. Nicholas’
Breaking, Music News

Listen: METALLICA’s JAMES HETFIELD Drops Heavy Metal Ornaments on ‘A Visit From St. Nicholas’

Chord F. DiscordDecember 19, 2025December 19, 2025

James Hetfield vs. Santa Claus: The Epic Battle for Christmas Supremacy Begins Now (Spoiler: He Wins) 🎸🎅 In a move…

Behemoth’s Nergal Explains Why ‘The S*** Ov God’ is Deep Philosophy and Not Just Him Feeling Rebellious After Taco Night
Breaking, Music News

Behemoth’s Nergal Explains Why ‘The S*** Ov God’ is Deep Philosophy and Not Just Him Feeling Rebellious After Taco Night

Chord F. DiscordDecember 18, 2025December 18, 2025

Behemoth’s Nergal Just Dropped a Truth Bomb So Big, It Summoned a Demon From Target 🤯🔥 In a shocking turn…

James Hetfield’s Gig: Proof the Bar is Six Feet Under
Breaking, Music News

James Hetfield’s Gig: Proof the Bar is Six Feet Under

Chord F. DiscordNovember 28, 2025November 28, 2025

Attention, fellow headbangers (and those who accidentally stumbled here)! Prepare yourselves for a groundbreaking exposé hotter than Lars Ulrich’s snare…

Lars Ulrich Claims He Breaks a Sweat (Barely) During Metallica Gigs
Breaking, Music News

Lars Ulrich Claims He Breaks a Sweat (Barely) During Metallica Gigs

Chord F. DiscordNovember 16, 2025November 16, 2025

Well, butter my biscuits and call me a Lars apologist! 🧈 Apparently, the California Film Institute, bless their cotton socks,…

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