Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Joe Biden

Word of the Week: ‘Wassail’ your way through winter like a medieval party animal | CNN
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Word of the Week: ‘Wassail’ your way through winter like a medieval party animal | CNN

Big ElephantDecember 24, 2025December 24, 2025

Wassailing: The Left’s Latest Weapon in the War Against Christmas and Apple Farmers In a shocking turn of events that…

“It’s Hard to Be Merry When Your Boss Cuts Your Budget Like a Bad Haircut—VA Workers Get Hiring Freeze Gift Just in Time for Christmas”
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

“It’s Hard to Be Merry When Your Boss Cuts Your Budget Like a Bad Haircut—VA Workers Get Hiring Freeze Gift Just in Time for Christmas”

Big ElephantDecember 23, 2025December 23, 2025

The VA’s War on Veterans: Another Day, Another Bureaucratic Bloodbath in Biden’s America In a stunning twist that absolutely no…

Trump’s Affordability Address: From Armchair Anxiety to Melania’s Underwear Drawer
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Affordability Address: From Armchair Anxiety to Melania’s Underwear Drawer

Big ElephantDecember 21, 2025December 21, 2025

President Trump absolutely destroyed the fake news again last night, delivering a masterclass in economic policy while the radical left…

Luigi Mangione’s Lawyers Claim Bondi’s Death Penalty Move Was Just a Bad Match Made in Judicial Hell
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Luigi Mangione’s Lawyers Claim Bondi’s Death Penalty Move Was Just a Bad Match Made in Judicial Hell

Big ElephantDecember 20, 2025December 20, 2025

Leftist Deep State Weaponizes Death Penalty Against Innocent Man Because He Dared to Kill an Insurance Executive In a shocking…

Brian Walshe’s defense brought a literal shovel to a murder trial and still couldn’t dig themselves out of trouble
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Brian Walshe’s defense brought a literal shovel to a murder trial and still couldn’t dig themselves out of trouble

Big ElephantDecember 17, 2025December 17, 2025

Massachusetts Leftists Hand Out Free Lifetime Vacation to Taxpayer-Funded ‘Vacation Home’ for Brian Walshe In a stunning act of judicial…

Trump crashes Warner Bros. drama, demands CNN be auctioned off like last season’s leftovers
Trump Finally Tells the Truth About CNN: It’s a Disgrace That Must Be Sold!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump crashes Warner Bros. drama, demands CNN be auctioned off like last season’s leftovers

Big ElephantDecember 10, 2025December 10, 2025

In a stunning and totally unexpected move, President Donald J. Trump, the greatest president in history and possibly all of…

Trump to Host Magical Money Cornfield Roundtable, Promises $12 Billion in Government-Free Government Aid
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump to Host Magical Money Cornfield Roundtable, Promises $12 Billion in Government-Free Government Aid

Big ElephantDecember 9, 2025December 9, 2025

In a move that has Democrats clutching their soy lattes, President Donald J. Trump is rolling out a $12 billion…

Oops! National Guard Gets Trigger-Happy Thanks to Super-Vetted Afghan Dude, or So They Say
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Oops! National Guard Gets Trigger-Happy Thanks to Super-Vetted Afghan Dude, or So They Say

Big ElephantNovember 29, 2025November 29, 2025

Here we go again! Crooked Joe Biden’s disastrous policies are STILL endangering America. Now, two National Guard members are shot…

Aaron Lewis Sings ‘Am I The Only One’ to Charlie Kirk: God’s Favorite Patriot Gets a Tune
Breaking, Music News

Aaron Lewis Sings ‘Am I The Only One’ to Charlie Kirk: God’s Favorite Patriot Gets a Tune

Chord F. DiscordNovember 9, 2025November 9, 2025

Ah, yes, another groundbreaking moment in modern music history. 🙄 STAIND’s very own deep thinker, Aaron Lewis, took a break…

CNN’s Oct 29 Extravaganza: Melissa’s Tantrums, Asia’s Adventures, Trump’s Encore, Mideast Mayhem, and Boating Bloopers
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN’s Oct 29 Extravaganza: Melissa’s Tantrums, Asia’s Adventures, Trump’s Encore, Mideast Mayhem, and Boating Bloopers

Big ElephantOctober 29, 2025October 29, 2025

Every pathetic, virtue-signaling air traffic controller in the US received a whopping zero-dollar paystub this week. Cry me a river!…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 4 5 6 Next

Latest posts

  • Trump Aide’s Old Tweets Reveal Totally Normal And Not At All Alarming Loyalty
  • Paramount and AGs Engage in Thrilling Game of Corporate Chicken
  • PRIEST Forms To Milk Ghost Fans Dry With New Album
  • Chris Slade retires from drumming because 70 is the new 25 and he’s exhausted
  • Kansas Loses Senator But Gains One Angelic Moderate Voter

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.