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What to Expect in Friday’s Jobs Report: A Comedy of Economic Errors | CNN Business
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

What to Expect in Friday’s Jobs Report: A Comedy of Economic Errors | CNN Business

Big ElephantMarch 5, 2026March 5, 2026

Another Trump Economic “Win” – Small Businesses Struggle as Trade Wars Backfire Small businesses across America are reportedly struggling to…

IRON MAIDEN: Gridiron Glory Forces Metal Mayhem to Move, Leaving L.A. Fans in a Headbanging Frenzy Over Football’s Bold Field Takeover
Oh no, the mighty IRON MAIDEN is being held hostage by college football — who knew the Trojans were such metalheads? 🎸🏈
Breaking, Music News

IRON MAIDEN: Gridiron Glory Forces Metal Mayhem to Move, Leaving L.A. Fans in a Headbanging Frenzy Over Football’s Bold Field Takeover

Chord F. DiscordMarch 4, 2026March 4, 2026

In a shocking turn of events that has fans more confused than a bassist trying to count in 7/8 time,…

SKINDRED Drops ‘Can I Get A’ – Because Apparently We All Need A Reminder That The New Album ‘You Got This’ Exists
Breaking, Music News

SKINDRED Drops ‘Can I Get A’ – Because Apparently We All Need A Reminder That The New Album ‘You Got This’ Exists

Chord F. DiscordMarch 4, 2026March 4, 2026

Welsh ragga metal legends SKINDRED have unleashed their latest sonic abomination, “Can I Get A,” proving once again that combining…

MR. BIG Throws A 30th Birthday Bash For ‘Hey Man’ With Shiny New Vinyl, Fancy Remaster, And A Whole Lot Of Nostalgia
Breaking, Music News

MR. BIG Throws A 30th Birthday Bash For ‘Hey Man’ With Shiny New Vinyl, Fancy Remaster, And A Whole Lot Of Nostalgia

Chord F. DiscordMarch 4, 2026March 4, 2026

Oh great, it’s MR. BIG’s 30th anniversary, and you know what that means — another cash grab disguised as a…

Father of Georgia School Shooter Found Guilty of Being a Real-Life Villain in the Most Dramatic Family Feud Ever
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Father of Georgia School Shooter Found Guilty of Being a Real-Life Villain in the Most Dramatic Family Feud Ever

Big ElephantMarch 3, 2026March 3, 2026

Finally, Some Justice! Georgia School Shooter’s Dad Convicted of Murder In a massive win for law and order, Colin Gray,…

Events

“Digging Up Your Great-Grandpa’s Dirt: A 20th Century Ancestry Adventure”

Chuck B. BallsyMarch 3, 2026

Discover Your Ancestors (or Not) This webinar will introduce you to key 20th century sources to trace your family history,…

Zootopia 2 Finally Reveals When It’s Taking Over Your Streaming Queue — Because Your Life Wasn’t Already Chaotic Enough
Breaking, Movie News

Zootopia 2 Finally Reveals When It’s Taking Over Your Streaming Queue — Because Your Life Wasn’t Already Chaotic Enough

FinnMarch 3, 2026March 3, 2026

Oh boy, here we go again. Another animated flick that made more money than most countries’ GDPs. But hey, who…

Events

B&N Virtually Presents: Allen Levi and His Theo of Golden Nonsense

Chuck B. BallsyMarch 3, 2026

“A word-of-mouth smash hit.” —The New York Times Barnes & Noble invites you to join bestselling author Allen Levi for…

Events

“Social Media Content Without the Cringe: How to Not Suck at Arts & Culture Storytelling”

Chuck B. BallsyMarch 2, 2026

Social media content without the cringe: Storytelling for Arts & Culture 🎭✨ Tired of awkward dances and forced trends? This…

Headbanging Their Way to Eurovision Glory: LAVINA Rocks Serbia’s Spot in 2026 Eurotrash Extravaganza
Breaking, Music News

Headbanging Their Way to Eurovision Glory: LAVINA Rocks Serbia’s Spot in 2026 Eurotrash Extravaganza

Chord F. DiscordMarch 1, 2026March 1, 2026

Oh look, another “modern” metal band from the Balkans, because apparently Europe hasn’t had enough of those. But hey, at…

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Latest posts

  • ARCHITECTS Singer SAM CARTER Reveals The Most Metal Thing That’s Ever Happened To Him: METALLICA’s JAMES HETFIELD Brought Them A Cake And Didn’t Even Smash It
  • SBC Approves Use Of Tasers On Any Visitor Who Tries To Slip Past Greeters
  • When your parents ask what kind of music you listen to
  • Enhanced Games Allows Competing Athletes To Use Steroids
  • Woman Worried She In Codependent Relationship With Rest Of Humanity 

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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