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Black Lung at Maryland Deathfest 2026 (05/21/2026, Day 1)
Videos

Black Lung at Maryland Deathfest 2026 (05/21/2026, Day 1)

Chuck B. BallsyMay 22, 2026

Psychedelic Doom Metal from Baltimore, Maryland Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan…

Cerebral Hemorrhage at Maryland Deathfest 2026 (05/21/2026, Day 1)
Videos

Cerebral Hemorrhage at Maryland Deathfest 2026 (05/21/2026, Day 1)

Chuck B. BallsyMay 22, 2026

Brutal Death Metal from New York, New York Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as…

Videos
Chuck B. BallsyMay 21, 2026

Ronnie Radke turned into the final boss of the Predator universe 💀 Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in…

Oh Joy Another Reboot Nobody Asked For Quinta Brunson to Star in the Totally Not Going to be a Disaster Betty Boop Movie
Breaking, Movie News

Oh Joy Another Reboot Nobody Asked For Quinta Brunson to Star in the Totally Not Going to be a Disaster Betty Boop Movie

FinnMay 21, 2026May 21, 2026

Breaking news: Quinta Brunson is set to star as Betty Boop in a movie that’s definitely not going to be…

Organ Dealer at Maryland Deathfest 2026 (05/120/2026, Pre-Fest event)
Videos

Organ Dealer at Maryland Deathfest 2026 (05/120/2026, Pre-Fest event)

Chuck B. BallsyMay 20, 2026

Grindcore from New Jersey Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,”…

Apex dance scene (Slayer edition)
Videos

Apex dance scene (Slayer edition)

Chuck B. BallsyMay 20, 2026

Can Charlize Theron survive the end of Taron Egerton’s killer song? Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the…

Videos
Chuck B. BallsyMay 20, 2026

Classic heavy metal from LA Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of…

Metallica in Chorzów, Poland (05/19/2026)
Videos

Metallica in Chorzów, Poland (05/19/2026)

Chuck B. BallsyMay 20, 2026

Classic heavy metal from LA Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of…

POV: You’re at a funeral but Archspire is playing tonight 🤘
Videos

POV: You’re at a funeral but Archspire is playing tonight 🤘

Chuck B. BallsyMay 19, 2026

Average Archspire fan at a family funeral Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The…

Dino Cazares Finally Decides to Make Music Again and Claims the New FEAR FACTORY Album Is Going to Be Totally Not a Copy of Their Old Stuff and Will Definitely Not Disappoint Fans This Time For Sure
Breaking, Music News

Dino Cazares Finally Decides to Make Music Again and Claims the New FEAR FACTORY Album Is Going to Be Totally Not a Copy of Their Old Stuff and Will Definitely Not Disappoint Fans This Time For Sure

Chord F. DiscordMay 19, 2026May 19, 2026

Get ready for the most epic comeback in metal history, folks! 🤘 FEAR FACTORY is back with a vengeance, and…

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Latest posts

  • Tekken 8 Now Ruined by Yujiro Hanma from Baki Because Who Needs Actual Tekken Characters Anyway and Also Harada Still Can’t Get Over His Waffle House Trauma
  • SEVENDUST’s LAJON WITHERSPOON Reveals Shocking Truth: We’re All Just A Bunch Of Equally Important Dudes With Beards And Guitar Riffs Who Can’t Decide On Anything
  • Simplification des Réglementations et de la Fiscalité pour les Gens qui Aiment se Faire Mal au Cerveau avec des Tas de Papierasserie
  • Dying Fetus at Maryland Deathfest 2026 (05/24/2026, Day 4)
  • Cephalic Carnage at Maryland Deathfest 2026 (05/24/2026, Day 4)

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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