Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Marathon

Nintendo Unleashes September 2026 Deluge of Remakes and Dollar Signs
Breaking, Games News

Nintendo Unleashes September 2026 Deluge of Remakes and Dollar Signs

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 9, 2026September 9, 2026

Nintendo Direct was back with a vengeance this week, showering us with a plethora of announcements that will keep our…

KISS Drama Never Ends Because You People Can’t Get Enough
Breaking, Music News

KISS Drama Never Ends Because You People Can’t Get Enough

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 8, 2026September 8, 2026

Oh no, the drama never ends! 🤯 KISS bassist Gene Simmons is spilling all the tea about his former bandmates,…

Gaming tech giants pilfer spotlight with flashy gimmicks at IFA 2026
Breaking, Games News

Gaming tech giants pilfer spotlight with flashy gimmicks at IFA 2026

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 5, 2026September 5, 2026

IFA 2026 has come and gone, leaving in its wake a trail of exciting new tech that’s got this gamer’s…

Kaiju Chaos Revived in Cash Grab Remaster of Destroy All Monsters Melee
Breaking, Games News

Kaiju Chaos Revived in Cash Grab Remaster of Destroy All Monsters Melee

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 31, 2026August 31, 2026

It’s time to get ready for some city-stomping, building-throwing, and general kaiju chaos, as Atari and Pipeworks Studios are bringing…

Kaiju Chaos Revived: Godzilla Melee Gets Lazily Remastered Cash Grab
Breaking, Games News

Kaiju Chaos Revived: Godzilla Melee Gets Lazily Remastered Cash Grab

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 31, 2026August 31, 2026

Oh joy, another remaster to add to the ever-growing pile of rehashed games that we’ve all been clamoring for. I…

Raiders of the Lost Art Finally Emerges from the Attic to Beg for Relevance on its 45th Birthday
Breaking, Movie News

Raiders of the Lost Art Finally Emerges from the Attic to Beg for Relevance on its 45th Birthday

FinnAugust 27, 2026August 27, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some epic news? 🎉🎊 Raiders of the Lost Ark is back in UK…

Gaming’s Biggest Stage Show Returns To Sell You More Stuff
Breaking, Games News

Gaming’s Biggest Stage Show Returns To Sell You More Stuff

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 25, 2026August 25, 2026

Gamescom 2026 is finally here, and with it, the inevitable onslaught of hype trains, cringeworthy marketing buzzwords, and Geoff Keighley’s…

Ozzfest 2027 somehow still happening with one day of tolerable music
Breaking, Music News

Ozzfest 2027 somehow still happening with one day of tolerable music

Chord F. DiscordAugust 19, 2026August 19, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, Jack Osbourne, the son of the Prince of Darkness himself, Ozzy Osbourne, has confirmed…

Energy Markets Having Totally Normal And Not At All Alarming Moment
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Energy Markets Having Totally Normal And Not At All Alarming Moment

Big ElephantAugust 19, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems like the perfect storm is brewing in the oil…

Marvel Cashes In Before Avengers: Doomsday with Five More MCU Films
Breaking, Movie News

Marvel Cashes In Before Avengers: Doomsday with Five More MCU Films

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 2, 2026August 2, 2026

The Marvel Cinematic Universe is at it again, and I’m not just talking about the inevitable onslaught of merchandise and…

Posts pagination

1 2 … 7 Next

Latest posts

  • Kamala Harris’ Home Security Actually Works For Once
  • Trump Administration’s Brilliant FEMA Firings Deemed Totally Not Legal
  • Celine Dion Returns to Stage in Paris After Six Years
  • Spin of the Day: Slate Pears Game 394: Sept. 12, 2026 — 87% Journalism Not Found
  • Hegseth desperately tries to make Iran rescue sound exciting

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.